Sat, Feb 5, 1983
'Tis the night before Vint and Naomi's wedding, and the house is a-flurry with the women hanging decorations while Vint goes to his bachelor party (Buzz is sent along to keep Vint in one piece). Ellen arrives late and distressed over her husband's behavior. To cheer her up, Naomi starts pouring wine for herself, Ellen and Fran (Mama settles for beer), and all except Sonja (who's sent upstairs to bed) get roaring drunk. During the happy times, Naomi confides to Fran that Ellen's husband IS having an affair with his secretary. Fran tells Mama. Ellen, still in the dark, calls on her husband to check up on him and is reassured enough to start on her favorite pastime -- dissing Eunice, who's scheduled to sing at the wedding. Eunice walks in and starts a war of words with Ellen, spilling the beans on Ellen's husband in the process. Naomi then vetoes Eunice singing at the wedding. Vint, Buzz and Sonja all arrive to a crescendo of catcalls.
Top-rated
Sat, Feb 12, 1983
Vint and Naomi's wedding day arrives with everybody seemingly cooled down -- seemingly. Mama didn't have time to give Vint a wedding gift, so she takes her late husband's blue sapphire ring and gives Vint that to use as a wedding ring, with a stern warning not to let Eunice -- who's coveted the ring since childhood -- know about it. Vint, without telling Naomi, gives the ring to her to wear around her neck. Ellen arrives in a new Cadillac bought by her husband ("What did it cost him to get that?" "His secretary."). Ed and Eunice arrive, and Naomi asks Ed to give her away. Eunice pleads with Vint, Mama and finally Naomi to get back her wedding solo song. Naomi finally agrees. But all is not peaceful for long. While looking for "something old, something borrowed and something blue," Naomi finds the wedding ring and Eunice recognizes it. Eunice goes out and has a few beers to settle her nerves. "It didn't work." She avoids both Mama and Ellen while the ceremony drags on and on. Finally, it's time for Eunice's solo. It's a horrible rendition of "Promise Me," and about eight measures into the song, Eunice turns it into a rant against Mama for breaking an imaginary promise to give Eunice the ring. Finally Ed bodily carries Eunice out the door, the wedding concludes and Vint, Naomi, Buzz and Sonja are off to Arizona. For about a minute. Seems Naomi invested in the "trailer park" with a con man, and the whole family comes back to Mama's doorstep ...
Sat, Mar 5, 1983
Mama's in a funk because she met one of her aunts, "who's three days older than God," but has a job. Mama's never worked outside the house in her life, so Vint and Naomi talk her into applying at an employment agency. Sure enough, she actually gets a position at the Raytown Travel Agency as a "mature" receptionist for travel agents, but it doesn't take long for her personality--and frequent calls from home--to get her into hot water.
Sat, Mar 26, 1983
Fran is scheduled to cover a high-society function for her newspaper, and has bought a fancy (and expensive) dress for the occasion. Mama agrees to iron it out. The dress survives Mama taking a phone call and placing the iron down, but it doesn't survive Mama slamming the iron onto it during an argument with Ellen. Mama and Ellen band together to buy another dress which looks the same on the rack, but when Fran comes downstairs the dress is "gathered" in all the wrong places. Fran puts two and two together and accuses Mama of deliberately ruining her dress out of jealousy. That part isn't true, but the argument escalates when Fran correctly accuses Mama of running off to get married and leaving Fran to "get stuck taking care of that old witch" (their own mother). Finally, Fran and Mama patch things up and each learns from their experience.
Sat, Apr 2, 1983
Vinton Harper Ken Berry's scheming buddy Claude Cainmaker Geoffrey Lewis talks Vint into a marriage scheme involving a woman from Portugal who hasn't registered as a citizen. The Electric Company (2006) alum Luis Avalos plays her brother, who has offered to pay both Vint and Claude for their participation. Since immigration checks up on marriages between U.S. citizens and people from other countries, Vint's bride-to-be has to be moved into Mama Vicki Lawrence's house. Thelma (Mama) is outraged that her son is being taken for a fool and reminds him that 60 Minutes (1968) did a show on how what he's doing is illegal and he could wind up in jail. Will Vinton go through with it? (Clearly, this episode was produced before The Wedding: Part 1 (1983), since Naomi is still seen living next door and Vint is single.)
Sat, Apr 30, 1983
Eunice, in her 40s, feels neglected by her jerk of a husband Ed and that her life has amounted to very little. Vint's son Buzz, tells her about a tape called "The Power Of Positive Thinking". She's skeptical at first but after a few listens, she gets up the nerve to audition at the local playhouse for a small part in an upcoming show. Mama, while glad Eunice is trying to be more positive, realizes it's also making Eunice a doormat for others. Especially the people in the play, when all of Eunice's lines are given to another actress instead.
Sat, May 7, 1983
Despite the fact that Vinton's friend Claude Cainmaker does nothing but lead to trouble for him,Vinton still remains his friend. Mama dislikes that he still associates with him,but Vinton wont listen to reason. Claude then calls Vinton from the local jail,where he needs Vint to come up with bail money.Enter Vint's sister Ellen (Betty White)who has just returned her mother's good silverware after borrowing it. He sneaks it out of the closet and down to the pawn shop to bail his buddy out but Mama discovers it gone! How will this effect her and Vinton's relationship?