Episode list

An alternate, original, unaired version of "Plumstones" with a different restaurant scene.

Shy librarian Alison Little arrives at a hotel to meet long-lost cousin Tom Cheyney. Eccentric,accident-prone Tom Chance turns up for a blind date with Alison Hughes but due to a misunderstanding they end up with each other as Tom's clumsiness with a rowing oar knocks his date and a rude male receptionist unconscious. Tom is later arrested after trying to help a woman who has locked her lover's keys in his car and he tells Alison he is no stranger to being arrested for things he has not done. Thus,after a slapstick fight with a depressed waiter in a restaurant which necessitates a change of clothes Tom is apprehended breaking into his house having left his door keys back at the restaurant in his coat pocket.

Alison's parents are not exactly warming to the notion of Tom after their daughter returns at three in the morning minus her dress. Tom returns it to her at the library but gets into a row with an aggressive Scotswoman who,due to another 'coincidence', believes he is the man who sold her son a duff car. Alison's parents arrive at Tom's house but her mother gets caught up with a group of girls who are changing into nightwear to break a record of how many people can fit in a phone box and,when she escapes,is chased by a dog. Meanwhile her father is mistaken for Tom by the Sctosweoman's husband,who vents his spleen on Mr Little's car.

Tom believes he has had no post for six and a half weeks but in fact all his mail got stuck behind a heater and,as he has not paid his bills.the amenities are due to be cut off. With his phone disconnected Tom uses a public kiosk to arrange an interview with the bank manager,accidentally killing a pet hamster in the process. Arriving at the bank he finds the new manager harassed as he picks up the pieces of his predecessor's wild leaving party though he promises to sort out Tom's financial affairs. However on returning home for a romantic evening with Alison Tom finds that the bank manager has been beaten to it by a posse of bailiffs,led by the man whose hamster he killed,who strip the house of its furniture.

Tom is arranging a surprise birthday for Alison which includes a pillar box singing telegram who arrives seven hours early and an odd caterer who puts plastic insects in the food to spark off conversation. With Tom's typical misfortune the birthday present he gives Alison turns out to be a fur coat another man intended for his mistress but which Tom picked up by mistake. Eventually Tom leads Alison to her party but all the guests are total strangers as Tom mistook her Lost Property customers book for her address book. The irate woman in search of her fur coat also arrives whilst her boyfriend accidentally runs over the singing pillar box. Tom and Alison feel that they are better off escaping to the country to celebrate alone.

Alison has her own flat where she is hosting her nervous cousin Thomas,who has come from Hartlepool for a Cliff Richard concert and even before ringing her bell has,thanks to Tom,been chased through wet cement by a dog. Tom and Alison take him to a pub where a young man called Malcolm picks a fight with Tom but gets knocked out by a cricket ball. Then Tom is challenged to a fight by another youth Terry,who deliberately loses and tears his clothes,daubing his face with fake blood. Only after Tom's party have left do the lads realise that the fake fight was to have been between each other to impress Malcolm's girlfriend. Arriving home first Thomas knocks himself out with a medicine ball,requiring Alison and Tom to break the door down. Her landlord is not pleased - but she never liked the flat anyway.

Alison is now living with Tom and,on the day that a boat he won years ago and was stolen next day is returned by the police Corporal Browning drops in - literally,as his parachute was caught on the chimney. Alison takes Tom to visit a cohabiting couple Roger and Susan in the hopes that it will steer Tom towards their permanently living together but the couple do nothing but argue and Tom's tactlessness increases the antipathy. Alison and Tom go to look at a vacant flat recommended by Corporal Browning but find it is being taken by Roger and his mistress,though Tom manages to split them up as well. Returning to Tom's house they find that yet another misunderstanding has caused the building to be fumigated by pest control and they end up sleeping in the boat,which,with Corporal Browning's army band serenading them,they find very romantic.