Michael David Wright credited as playing...
Alan
- [last lines]
- Todd: [starting race over megaphone] OK, time to get we!. Are you ready?
- Alan: Todd, I just read the invoice from that surgical supply house.
- Todd: [through megaphone] On your marks!
- [to Alan]
- Todd: So?
- Alan: The thread, the surgical thread we used to sew the bikinis...
- Todd: [through megaphone] Get set!
- [to Alan]
- Todd: What about it?
- Alan: It's for dissolving stitches, Todd!
- Todd: I know!
- [fires starter's pistol]
- Alan: [Just having signed over the bikini shop to Mr. Greene] So, Mr. Greene... Have you always been involved in retail?
- Eric Greene: Retail?
- [laughs dismissively]
- Eric Greene: I find it utterly repugnant. No. I'm going to make a few structural changes to this place, and then turn it into a recruitment and meditation center for my organization... The Holistic Church of Truth and Tranquility.
- Eric Greene: [Starts handing out brochures to Alan and the shop employees] We are offering an alternative lifestyle for young people seeking inner peace through meditation... prayer... and forfeiture of all worldly possessions. Perhaps you and the rest of your staff might be interested in joining our church. You may find yourselves seeking a new direction in life, now that you will be... UNEMPLOYED. Good day!
- Alan: We're gonna have to work awfully hard to sell the store. See, it's got to be turned into a profit-making business in order to attract a buyer. Now, I figure it'll take a couple of weeks to get everything taken care of. In the meantime, we'll just live here. Now you, Todd, can either help me out or not. It's up to you.
- Todd: [Grabbing milk carton from Alan, who is trying to put it away] No offense, pal, but I think living with you is gonna drive me crazy!
- Alan: [Throwing up hands and storming off] Aagh!
- Todd: ...I said, 'no offense!'