Bruce Willis credited as playing...
David Addison Jr.
- Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: I want some answers!
- David Addison: Delaware, all of the above, and 90 degrees.
- Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: ...what?
- David Addison: All right! You're looking great, kid! I'm right behind ya. Now, don't look back and try and see me, just know that I'm right in back of you, and -- yes, I am looking up your dress.
- Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: How do you know he's dead?
- David Addison: It's either that or the man wears an obscene amount of blue rouge.
- David Addison: Looks to me like you didn't finish the whole nine innings.
- Criminal: What?
- Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: What?
- David Addison: Don't gang up on me! I don't write this stuff.
- [repeated throughout series during arguments]
- David Addison: [yelling] Fine!
- Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: [yelling] Fine!
- [both stalk into their offices and slam the doors behind them]
- David Addison: Women: You can't live with them, can't leave 'em on the curb when you're done with them.
- David Addison: Me? Plan? Couldn't be! Everybody knows I have no facility for deductive reasoning. Hell, I can't even walk and chew gum at the same time. Dumb David, always chomping on his feet and blowing bubbles with his shoes. Me? Plan? Noooo!
- Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: "Ball of fluff"? *You* are calling *me* a ball of fluff? You? The sissyfighter?
- David Addison: What did you call me?
- Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: Sissyfighter!