Mark Holton credited as playing...
Francis Buxton
- Pee-wee: I wouldn't sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!
- Francis: Then you're crazy!
- Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
- Francis: You're a nerd!
- Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
- Francis: You're an idiot!
- Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
- Pee-wee, Francis: I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? Pee-wee: Infinity!
- Francis: No, I'm not.
- Pee-wee, Francis: You are! No way! Knock it off! Cut it out!
- Francis: Shut up, Pee-wee!
- Pee-wee: Why don't you make me?
- Francis: Why don't you make me?
- Pee-wee: Because. I don't make monkeys, I just train 'em.
- Francis: Pee-wee, listen to reason.
- [Pee-Wee cuffs his hand around his ear in a listening motion]
- Francis: Come on!
- Pee-wee: Shhhh! I'm listening to reason.
- Francis: Pee-wee!
- Pee-wee: That's my name, don't wear it out.
- Francis: Remember the first time I saw your bike? You came riding past my house and I came running out to tell you how much I liked it even way back then?
- Pee-wee: I love that story.
- [jumps on bike and pedals away]
- Francis: You'll be sorry, Pee-wee Herman!
- Mr. Buxton: [after Pee-wee and Francis wrestle in the bathtub and Pee-wee is trying to open a window] Pee-wee, Pee-wee! What is going on here?
- Pee-wee Herman: He's a thief! He stole my bike!
- Francis: You liar! I swear I didn't do it, Dad!
- Mr. Buxton: Pee-wee, this is a serious accusation. Do you have any proof?
- Pee-wee Herman: Well, not exactly.
- Mr. Buxton: Pee-wee, the Buxtons are not thieves. Just look at him.
- [Francis gives a sad puppy face]
- Mr. Buxton: He couldn't have stolen your bike. He hasn't left this house since yesterday. We've been setting up Francis' birthday plans all day.
- Pee-wee Herman: Gee, I guess I was wrong. We don't have to involve the authorities in this matter, do we, Mr. Buxton? It was an honest mistake, and I'm very sorry.
- Mr. Buxton: Well... I still think you should apologise to Francis, and then I want to see the two of you shake hands.
- Pee-wee Herman: I'm sorry, Francis.
- [Shakes his hand, and reaches for his trick gum]
- Pee-wee Herman: Here, would you care for some gum?
- [Francis takes a piece of trick gum]
- Pee-wee Herman: Would you like some, Mr. Buxton?
- Mr. Buxton: Oh, thank you.
- Pee-wee Herman: Spearmint or fruit?
- Mr. Buxton: Uh, fruit please.
- [Takes a piece of trick gum]
- Pee-wee Herman: [leaving] Well... goodbye!
- Mr. Buxton: Goodbye.
- Francis: You do believe me, don't you, Dad?
- [as Francis chews the spearmint trick gum, the saliva in his mouth turns black. Mr Buxton screams as he realizes his own fruit trick gum is spicy]
- Radio DJ: [Pee-wee goes to a radio station to post a $10,000 reward for the recovery of his bike] Well, that is some story Pee-wee and with the kind of reward money you're offering, I'm sure a lot of our listeners will be searching.
- Pee-wee: Oh, my name's engraved on the back of the seat. That's Pee-wee Herman. P-E-E,
- Francis: [turns off radio] That does it! He just won't let up. I changed my mind. I don't want the stupid bike anymore.
- Francis' Accomplice: Well, a deal's a deal. So... fork over my money for lifting it for you... Buxton!
- Francis: [Pays his friend] Here. Take the bike with you. Just get rid of it.
- Francis' Accomplice: [Takes some more money from Francis] That'll cost you extra. See you later sucker!
- Francis: Of course I taught pee wee how to ride his bike I still remember the day I took off his training wheels.