Tom Wilson credited as playing...
Arch Cummings
- Arch: You're telling me! When I was out there swinging in the woods, I nearly crapped my pants.
- Ferryman: What do you mean "nearly"?
- Chaz: Arch? You browned your trou?
- Arch: Well, uh... you know, I was...
- Constable Potter: It's all right, Arch, they'll be out of the dryer soon.
- Rob: He said to forget it. He said that my grades might be okay but basically I possess an essential lack of seriousness, and that's what they look for.
- Arch: Him too? That's what my guy said. I said "You gotta be kidding. I mean how can anyone be serious about anything when some moron can steal a bomb or push a button and nuke us all until our shadows glow?" He wasn't impressed with that, but...
- Arch: [mocking tone] Hi, my name is Mary O'Riley O'Tool O'Shea. I want to go to convent school and things like that. Welcome, welcome to my home and lifestyles of the rich and undeserving.
- Nan: [about the table set with dolls at every setting] Just like Agatha Christie.
- Chaz: And sporks.
- Arch: Sporks?
- Chaz: [mocking voice] And napkins with bunnies on 'em. Gee, Muff, you really spare no expense.
- Muffy: Well now how do you think Daddy made his money?
- Nikki: The old fashioned way, he inherited it.
- Nan: [about the doll at her place] I used to have all her outfits.
- Kit: It's okay now, with the others, they were outside, but you...
- Chaz: We're inside now, so we're safe.
- Nan: It's all because of what happened at the ferry, isn't it?
- Chaz: It was an accident! Christ! Don't they know that?
- Arch: Muffy, where do you keep your guns?
- Muffy: Guns? We don't keep guns in this house.
- Nan: Can I make a toast? Well, someone once said to me to cherish the friends you make in college.
- Arch: I try to cherish *all* the friends I make.
- Nikki: Stop it.
- Nan: Because... they'll be the friends you cherish most for the rest of your life. So, here's to us and here's to my life, because I'm very glad to be here. And to be a part of all of you.
- Kit: Muffy, anything you want to add to that?
- Muffy: Why me?
- Nikki: Because you're the hostess.
- Muffy: Okay. In his Life of Johnson, Janus Boswell said 'We cannot predict the precise moment when friendships are formed, as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last one which makes it run over. So in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one which makes the heart run over.' So, with this toast, may our hearts run over and our friendships be formed.
- Arch: [enters his room] Alright, ladies, we're gonna have some privacy.
- [pushes the beds together, Chaz walks in with his stuff]
- Arch: You gotta be kidding.
- Chaz: Unless Muffy knows something about us that we don't.
- Arch: [they fall on the bed grabbing each other laughing] Hold me, boyfriend, hold me.
- Chaz: Just holster it, cowboy, will ya?
- Arch: Let's play hide the sausage!
- Chaz: Giddyup!