Chip Zien credited as playing...
Howard T. Duck
- [Together in bed, Beverly seducing Howard]
- Howard T. Duck: [flustered] I've got a headache...
- Beverly: And I've got the aspirin!
- Howard T. Duck: Be gentle.
- Howard T. Duck: I've given up trying to assimilate. I've got to get back to my own kind!
- [notices Beverly's behind as he watches her crawl across the top of her bed in her underwear]
- Howard T. Duck: Althoooooough... I HAVE developed a greater appreciation for the female version of the human anatomy... ARROOOOO!
- Beverly: Howard, you really are the worst!
- Howard T. Duck: He-he!
- Beverly: Come on, let's watch David Letterman. Come on!
- [Pats the bed]
- Howard T. Duck: Okie-dookie.
- Beverly: I was worried about you. I missed you.
- Howard T. Duck: Well, sex appeal. Some guys got it - and some guys don't.
- Howard T. Duck: We've got a saying on my planet. If God intended us to fly, he wouldn't have taken away our wings.
- Howard T. Duck: Bev, I am not a real sentimental guy.
- Beverly: No. I bet you were born from a very hard-boiled egg, Duckie.
- [Howard and Phil have landed in a pond]
- Howard T. Duck: Philsy, help! Philsy, help me!
- Phil Blumburtt: Never heard of a duck that couldn't swim.
- Howard T. Duck: Shut up and save me!
- Beverly: You got some place to go?
- Howard T. Duck: Hey, if I had some place to go I certainly wouldn't be in 'Cleve-Land'.
- Dr. Jenning: In the lab that night, we saw a single feather fall. We weren't aware that the rest of you, Howard, had landed in that alley just two miles away. Any questions?
- Howard T. Duck: Yeah. Where are my pants?
- [Jenning has almost crashed into a diner]
- Howard T. Duck: You think that's funny, Jenning?
- Dr. Jenning: I'm not Jenning anymore! The transformation is complete. I am now... someone else.
- Howard T. Duck: Try telling that to your insurance company.
- Beverly: I'm sorry I'm so nervous. It's just that I've never been around a... Um, I mean, I've never even had any pets or anything, you know. They seem like such a hassle - you know, feeding 'em, cleaning up their little poo-poos, and...
- Howard T. Duck: I'll try to be careful.
- [Howard is being strip-searched]
- Howard T. Duck: On my planet, we never say die, we say... NOT MY SHORTS! You perverts!
- Howard T. Duck: No duck is an island. And if fate sent me here to save Earth, then Howard the Duck is ready to fight!
- [Phil Blumburtt hangs into the sea from the bottom of a flying machine as Howard's driving]
- Howard T. Duck: This is no time for watersports!
- Howard T. Duck: What is this place?
- Beverly: Uh... Cleveland?
- Howard T. Duck: Cleve-Land? U-huh. That's a perfect weird name for this planet.