Bruce Willis: Walter Davis

Blind Date

Walter Davis

Nadia Gates: Walter, if you will just drop me off at a hotel...
Walter Davis: [cuts off Nadia] What? And bring an end to this glorious evening?

Ted Davis: ...but don't get her drunk. If you get her drunk,
[alluringly]
Ted Davis: she loses control!
Walter Davis: Ted, are we talking a loss of inhibitions here, or does she pee on the floor?

Nadia Gates: [inspects painting] Oh! This looks Japanese. "Master and Concubines"?
Walter Davis: It's Yakamoto!
Nadia Gates: What is?
Walter Davis: No, no, the reason for this big business dinner tonight is this Japanese industrialist new client of ours. He's old world Japanese and he's got a wife that's more like a slave and he keeps concubines!
Nadia Gates: You gotta be kidding me.
Walter Davis: No, no, his wife knows all about it. It's "traditional" or something.
Nadia Gates: Tell me something, Walter: Are you into those kind of "traditions"?
[chuckles]
Walter Davis: [chuckles] No, I'm actually a one-concubine kind of guy.

Harry Gruen: Do I have to say the words, Walter?
Walter Davis: I am fired?
Harry Gruen: I only wish this was the army. So that I could have you shot... Twice!

Walter Davis: [chased by Rambo the Doberman guard dog] Jesus Christ! Good doggy! Nice doggy! Oh, shit!
[jumps into swimming pool]

Ted Davis: Hey... I'll make it up to you.
Walter Davis: Oh? You'll write me a check?
Ted Davis: No, but I'll solve your problems for tonight. I know this fantastic...
Walter Davis: Stop!
Ted Davis: You don't even know what I was gonna say!
Walter Davis: Yes, I do. You're gonna recommend another one of your psychotic friends.
Ted Davis: I *resent* that, Walter.
Walter Davis: Come on, Ted. You've tried to find me Miss Right before, only you always forget to mention one crucial detail. Like she's a dopehead or a lesbian or keeps a dead cat in the freezer. What a New Year's that was. "Walter, would you get the champagne out of the icebox?"
Ted Davis: Okay, I'm sorry about that! But seriously, Walter, I know someone. Her name is Nadia Gates, she's Susie's cousin.
Walter Davis: Ted, I don't wanna hear about it.
Ted Davis: Don't you trust your own brother?
[gets cold stare]
Ted Davis: Right. No argument there. But all my usual bullshit aside, Nadia's an amazing woman. She just moved back into town, she's staying in a hotel, and she wants to meet people!
Walter Davis: What's she like?
Ted Davis: She's a sweetheart. Good sense of humor, lots of fun. You are gonna love her!
Walter Davis: No, I am not gonna love her, because this is not going to happen!
Ted Davis: [sighs] Suit yourself. But I give her my highest recommendation.
Walter Davis: Ha! Talk about the kiss of death!
[drives away]

Walter Davis: [on bed, drunk] Nadia, let's do it in the coats. Let's do it right here in the fur coats, honey. Ohh!
Nadia Gates: Why don't you just go ahead and do now what you're going to do later anyway, Walter? Just pass out.
Walter Davis: [from underneath pile] Come to me, baby! Ahh!