William Forsythe credited as playing...
Evelle
- Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.
- Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see...
- Gale: Shut up!
- Feisty Hayseed: Okay then.
- Gale: Everybody down on the ground!
- Evelle: Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now.
- Gale: Better still to get down there.
- Evelle: Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya?
- [Everybody lays down. Gale looks at the now-empty teller windows]
- Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go?
- Teller's voices: We're down here, sir.
- Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.
- Ed McDonnough: You mean you busted out of jail.
- Evelle: No, ma'am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
- Gale: What Evelle here is trying to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.
- H.I.: Matter of fact, honey, l think l'll skip this little get-together myself. Glen won't mind. l'll just duck out with the boys, knock back a coupla co-colas.
- Gale: Sure, H l.
- Evelle: We'd love to have you, Hi.
- H.I.: [Ed gives H.I. a look of disapproval] Maybe that ain't such a swell idea, either.
- Gale: So many social engagements, so little time.
- Prison Counsellor: Most men your age Hi, are getting married and raising up a family.
- H.I.: Well factually, the...
- Prison Counsellor: They wouldn't accept prison as a substitute. Would any of you men care to comment.
- Gale: Well, sometimes your career's gotta come before family.
- Evelle: Work's what's kept us happy.
- Gale: Why ain't you breast-feedin'? You appear to be capable.
- Ed McDonnough: Mind your own bid'ness.
- Evelle: Ma'am, you don't breast-feed him, he'll hate you for it later. That's why we wound up in prison.
- Gale: Anyway, that's what Doc Schwartz tells us.
- Evelle: We need someone handy with a scatter gun to cover them hayseeds while we go in there and get that cash!
- [Evelle is buying diapers]
- Evelle: You know how to put these things on?
- Grocer: Well, around the butt and up over the groin area.
- Evelle: I know WHERE they go, old timer. I just want to know if I need pins or fasteners.
- Grocer: Well, no, they got them tape-ettes already on there. It's self-contained and fairly explanatory.
- Gale: Got a name, does he?
- H.I.: So far we just been usin' Junior.
- Ed McDonnough: We call him Junior.
- Evelle: You mean JR, just like the TV show? That's good!
- Ed McDonnough: You two are leavin' tomorrow mornin'. Now, l got nothin' against you, but you're wanted by the authorities. And you're a bad influence in this household in my opinion.
- Gale: Well, ma'am, we sure didn't mean to influence anybody.
- Evelle: And if we did, ma'am, we - we apologize.
- Evelle: That there's a picture of El Dorado, Hi.
- Gale: Though, the locals call it the Farmers and Mechanics Bank of La Grange. Looks like a hayseed bank. Tell you the truth, it is a hayseed bank. Except for the last Friday of every financial quarter, there's more cash in that bank than there are flies at a barbecue.
- Evelle: And guess what day it is tomorrow.
- Gale: When all the hayseeds come in and - cash their farm subsidies checks.
- Evelle: A information, Hi.
- Gale: Got it in the joint from a guy named Lawrence Spivey, one of Dick Nixon's undersecretary of agricultures.
- Evelle: He's in for soliciting sex from a state trooper.
- Gale: Ordinarily we don't associate with that type of person, but - he was tryin' to make a few Brownie points with some of the boys.