Charles Nelson Reilly: Mr. Toad

The Wind in the Willows

Mr. Toad

Badger: We're attacking Toad Hall tonight.
Mr. Toad: Right! Oh! Oh, with armies, and navies, and...
Badger: No, no, no, just *ourselves*.
Mr. Toad: [sadly] A bit of a comedown on that. Hmm. We'll never get past the sentries.
Ratty: We are *not* going PAST them! We are going unnnnnder them.
Moley: Gonna use the secret tunnel to Toad Hall.
Mr. Toad: Splendid idea!

Mr. Toad: [driving his motor paddleboat] Make way! Make way for Captain Toad of Toad Hall!

Mr. Toad: [singing] Whether a Ford or a Ferrari, whatever I can get to carry me near or far, just give me any car. I love to ride the Tar, an old Excalibar; yes, any motor car. And I'll be happy - ho-ho! Messing around in cars!

Mr. Toad: Oh, what dust clouds I shall make! What carts I shall fling into the ditch!
Ratty: [sternly] Toad, come down here!
Mr. Toad: As you wish, Ratty.

Mr. Toad: My friends... the Toad has come home. There was smashing of the windows and crashing of the doors. There was crying of the weasels that fainted on the floor when the Toad came home. Shout "Hooray" - for Mr. Toad. Sound your horns, fire the cannons, shout "Hooray", for it's Toad's grrrrreat day!

Mr. Toad: As penance, I shall build you a new boat. An-and wear the washerwoman's dress to the end of my miserable day.
[seeing the hatrack empty, but still peering around it]
Mr. Toad: Hello, where is it? I-I left it hanging right here.
Ratty: The dress? Oh, Mole took it out before.
Mr. Toad: Mole? Really? Hm, didn't think him the type.

Moley: Ah dear, ther-there's no bread. An-and no butter!
Mr. Toad: No bread? But I distinctly recall purchasing several crisp baguettes this morning, along with some marvelous French "beurre", butter to you.
Ratty: [going inside the wagon] Wouldn't it be in there, right next to the pate de foie gras?

Mr. Toad: [sitting in his prison cell, moping] Ohhh - Oh no, that's the end of everything. Or at least the end of my career, which is the same thing. I should have listened to my friends.
[starts sobbing]
Mr. Toad: Oh! Oh wise old Badger, uh - oh clever, intelligent Rat, oh sensible Mole - oh stupid, unhappy, and forsaken Toad! Who was once so free, so careless, an-and so debonair!
[continues sobbing until the jailer and his daughter appear at his cell door]

Ratty: [rummaging through the wagon for pate de foie gras] Not only is there not any pate de foie gras, there's no champagne!
[peering out the wagon door towards Toad, calls to him accusingly]
Ratty: [scoffs] *You* have forgotten everything!
Mr. Toad: Oh, surely there's *something*.
Moley: There's *nothing*!
Ratty: It would be easier to say what we *don't* have.

Mr. Toad: You'll be happy to know: I'm giving up the sea. It's beginning to bore me.

Mr. Toad: [as he vivaciously drives the motorcar he stole previously, laughs] Washerwoman indeed! I am the toad! The car snatcher, the prison breaker, the toad who always escapes! Sit still, and you'll know what driving *really* is!

Mr. Toad: [after he is thrown into a tree when his car crashes into it; he is holding his steering wheel] What a magnificent climax, for a superb machine.
[chuckles as he tosses his steering wheel down, then climbs down]
Mr. Toad: Must order another one before winter comes.

Mr. Toad: Shall we have some dinner? Filet mignon, crepes, lobster, a Peking duck?
Ratty: There's a banquet for you. I know some animals who would give their ears to be sitting down to supper with us tonight.

Badger: Tonight, we'll make our way throught the tunnel, bypass the sentries, and come up on the pantry next to the dining hall.
Mr. Toad: The squeaky board in the pantry.
Badger: Right. And thanks to Mole, they'll be thinking that *hundreds* are attacking. We'll clear them out of Toad Hall in five minutes.

Mr. Toad: [after he is ordered to jump from the train to escape the police who try to pursue him due to his escape from prison; he laughs triumphantly] It's very late.
[curls up]
Mr. Toad: Mm, quite cold and - oh, very dark. No money. No food. What was I laughing about?

Mr. Toad: Wonderful! Spellbinding!
[chuckles]
Mr. Toad: Outrageously magnificent! Was there ever such a master of motorcars as Toad of Toad Hall?