Thomas Wilson Brown credited as playing...
Little Russ Thompson
- Nick Szalinski: Where'd you learn artificial respiration?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: French class, kid.
- Amy Szalinski: Good night, Russ.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Good night, Amy.
- Nick Szalinski, Ron Thompson: [pause, then mockingly] Good night, Amy!
- Amy Szalinski: Russ?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Yeah?
- Amy Szalinski: How come you never came over before?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: I mean, you talked to me once or twice last year. I mean, I would've come by - I wanted to - but... I always thought you were too popular to notice me.
- Amy Szalinski: I was too popular to notice. I was stupid.
- [they pause then they kiss]
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: So, you like to dance huh?
- Amy Szalinski: How do you know?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Well...
- Amy Szalinski: You could see me?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: No, no. Yeah, I could, but I wasn't watching you, I...
- Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: I could eat a corndog the size of a truck.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Ron, if you had a corndog; it would be the size of a truck.
- Nick Szalinski: We could be anywhere now.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: I think we're still in your yard.
- Nick Szalinski: How do you know?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Any other yard the grass would be shorter.
- Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: They're never gonna find us! We were right under their noses and they didn't even see us!
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Don't panic, Ron. We'll - we'll find a way.
- Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: I'm not panicking.
- [shouts]
- Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Who's panicked? Nobody's panicked!
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Hey, if we had some rope, we could make a log bridge! If we... If we had some logs.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: He hit a baseball through your attic window...
- Amy Szalinski: He what?
- Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: It shouldn't have been closed in the first place. It's a nice day!
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: We'll get it fixed okay? We'll take it out of his allowance all right?
- Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: My allowance? Dream on!
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Okay, we'll just have dad pay for it huh?
- Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: We'll take it out of my allowance... Now give me my ball back.
- Nick Szalinski: Until you pay, no man shall pass.
- Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: You've got nothing to say about it, *space boy*!
- Amy Szalinski: Cool it! Nick, take him upstairs and get him his ball. And clean up the mess.
- Nick Szalinski: [incredulous] What?
- Amy Szalinski: [impatiently] Do it, Nick! I don't have time to mess around.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Something tells me we're not going fishing this weekend.
- Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: That should make you happy.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Blow it out your shorts, Ron!
- Ron Thompson: What's a river doing in your backyard?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: It's not a river, dope. It could be a stream of dog pee, and it would look like a river to us.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: [when the kids are trapped in a trash bag on the curb] Hey, Szalinski, do they pick up your trash the same day they get ours?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Um, dad... You know that weights aren't my thing.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Fishing isn't your thing. Weights aren't your thing. Just what is your thing?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: I don't know. But I'll keep you posted okay?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Okay, in the meantime, you're trying these weights, and you're coming fishing with the family! IS THAT CLEAR? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Yes sir.