Polly Bergen: Mrs. Vernon-Williams

Cry-Baby

Mrs. Vernon-Williams

Cry-Baby: I'm gonna sing tonight and thought she might like to hear it.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Baldwin, mind your manners.
Baldwin: This is what we think of your kind of music
[punches him]
Allison: How dare you hit him? You don't own me, Baldwin. I have the right to hear Cry-Baby sing.
Baldwin: Don't get all worked up honey. The punk got what he deserved.

[Allison and The Whiffles finish singing "Mr. Sandman"... Uncle Belvidere whisks Allison down a rope]
Milton Hackett: Allison Vernon-Williams, the decision is yours...
Uncle Belvedere Rickettes: You sang with the squares, now sing with the drape!
[everyone cheers]
Baldwin: We'll get married and live in Suburbia. I love you Allison
Allison: I don't want to hurt you Baldwin.
Lenora Frigid: [snatches toy baby away from little girl] I had my baby. Isn't he cute? I'm a square now. Wave to Allison.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: You may be a square Lenora, but you're still a tramp.
[Mrs. Vernon-Williams turns to look at Allison]
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Allison, pick the man who loves you the most.
Allison: [singing] Please, Mr. Jailer, Won't you let my man go free? Please, Mr. Jailer, Won't you let my man go free? He don't belong in prison, Though he's guilty as can be, But the only crime he's guilty of, Is simply loving me...

Baldwin: You think you're a big man, Cry-Baby, but you're lower than your dead father! And guess who pulled the switch on that jerk? My grandpappy, that's who! And every Christmas since, my whole family gathers together and he retells the story of the day he electrocuted your daddy, and we just laugh!
Hatchet Face: Let me punch his ugly face!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: It's okay, Hatchet. You're beautiful, baby. But I'll take care of this maggot! Do you know how to play the automobile game called Chicken?
Baldwin: Sure! My car and your jalopy! We head toward one other at full speed. First one to turn the wheel before we smash is a chicken!
The Judge: Is that legal?
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Stop this insanity!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: I got some new rules, sucker! How 'bout you and me on top of the car?
Baldwin: [hesitates] I'm man enough, you big cry baby!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: That's "Mr. Baby" to you! Fellas of the press, this chicken race tonight is for my daddy. And I'd like to sing something in his memory. Something hill-billy... something colored!
[Baldwin groans]
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Something my daddy would have loved!

Allison: He lied to me, Grandmother. And the whole worid knows that I'm just a Drape fool.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Oh, heavy hangs the head, that last night wore the crown.

Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Baldwin, please be a gentleman and call off this race. It's too dangerous!
Baldwin: Mrs. Vernon-Williams, you were born a square and you're gonna die a square. You're coming with me!

Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the annual RSVP Talent Show.
The Squares: Good afternoon, Mrs. Vernon-Williams.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: First, I must apologize for my frazzled nerves. However, this afternoon we were attacked by a gang of juvenile delinquents.
[audience gasps]
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: It's alright. No one was injured. Juvenile delinquents are everywhere. Right here in this community. Boys with long hair and tattoos who spit on the sidewalk. Girls who wear tight slacks. Hysterectomy pants, I call them. And if one of these creatures ever approach you on the street, you are to silently repeat to yourself the four "B's" you learned here at RSVP. And what are they, children, the four "B's"?
The Squares: Beauty, brains, breeding and bounty!

Cry-Baby: I can sing pretty good.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: 'Well,' not 'good.' Haven't you *ever* heard of the English language?

Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Mrs. Vernon-Williams, I hear you're havin' a talent show at your charm school today.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: I can barely imagine what *you* would call music.

Allison: Maybe Cry-Baby can sing. Something cool, something hep.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: And where did you learn those vulgar jazz words? Your poor dead parents would turn over in their graves.
Baldwin: It's those jukebox records she listens to. Honey, his kind of music isn't even on the Hit Parade.

Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: I will say this once and once only. Stay away from my granddaughter, you common juvenile delinquents.

Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: I have told you, Baldwin, a young lady does not like to be pawed.

Allison: Please! It's not a school night, and I have been a good girl. Just one night of happiness, that's *all* I ask.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: But what if you get your dress dirty?
Allison: Thank you, Grandmother.