Taylor Negron credited as playing...
Fausto Squiriniszu
- Fausto: You people are sick, wicked, funky, misanthropic, co-dependent animals! And I won't have my sister, who was once the Queen of the Mardi Gras, sitting at a table with a pickle-shooting train!
- [passing by three half-buried dolphin statues]
- Chris Thorne: So that's where they buried Flipper.
- Fausto, Renalda: Flipper is dead?
- Chris Thorne: Alvin, I was just thinking you've got enough vintage steel around here to make a few thousand Toyotas. Ever think of selling the whole place to the Japanese?
- J.P.: There you go. Does the Pope wear a hat? Was Sergeant York's mother an angel? And will a banker grope for money?
- Chris Thorne: I'm not a banker, I'm a financial publisher.
- J.P.: Well, all I know is in '17 after they shipped me off to fight, some New York financier rolled in here one day and hog-glowsered and tub-wankled my grandfather into mining out the whole town in exchange for shares in something called the United Coke Company. Do you know what those stock certificates are worth today?
- [shouts]
- J.P.: JUST ABOUT THE FINEST OUTHOUSE WALLPAPER YOU'VE EVER SEEN! We were forced to become what you drove through today; a burnt out coal field and the biggest icebox graveyard this side of the Ohio foundry belt! And that's why I *never* let a banker go!
- Fausto: So your grandpa made a lousy deal, is that our problem?
- Diane Lightson: Judge, that's a very tragic, tragic story.
- J.P.: I believe it is.
- Renalda: You should do a book.
- Chris Thorne: [after Chris insults the Reeve and falling in a chamber of squeaky toys, Diane punches him; shocked] What was that for?
- Diane Lightson: [furious] How could you be so insensitive?
- Chris Thorne: What do you mean? What are you talking about?
- Renalda: Fausto, you better do something about this!
- Fausto: Niña, you're pulling on my coat, now cool it!
- Diane Lightson: I had us out of here! Then you had to go and open your big mouth!
- [pulls toy out of her shirt]
- Chris Thorne: You had us out of here? We would've been here another two hours listening to the history of the Valkenburger farm or wherever the hell we are!
- Diane Lightson: I knew that I couldn't depend on you!
- Chris Thorne: Listen, I don't need this! I was just trying to drive us to Atlantic City... for YOU!
- Diane Lightson: [sarcastic] Oh, is that right?
- Chris Thorne: Yeah!
- Fausto: [to Chris; furious] You're no longer our financial advisor! You're fired!
- Chris Thorne, Diane Lightson: [to Fausto] SHUT UP!