Charles Fleischer: Dweeb

We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story

Dweeb

[Prof. Screweyes has just shown off his Fright Radio to the kids and the dinosaurs]
Professor Screweyes: You see what they're most afraid of?
Woog: No.
Professor Screweyes: Monsters!
Rex: Monsters?
Professor Screweyes: You!
Rex: Us?
Dweeb: Us?
Professor Screweyes: [holding out a jar of glowing pills] With a little help, yes.
Cecilia: What's that?
Professor Screweyes: It's Brain Drain, the remedy to my brother's goody-two-shoes breakfast cereal. It'll take you back. It'll make you monsters.
Woog: But we don't want to be monsters.
Rex: We're not taking anything. You can forget it.
Professor Screweyes: All right, you're free. You can go. I can't stop you. But the kids... are mine.

Professor Screweyes: [having just hypnotized Louie and Cecilia into submission] Among my many other rights under this contract, including copyrights on all their ideas, I've got an exclusive option... on their willpower.
[Screweyes takes a tablet of his Brain Drain pill and snaps it in half]
Professor Screweyes: Now, this is just a temporary dose: my way of demonstration...
[the children slowly transform into primitive chimps, to the horror of the dinosaurs]
Rex: Change them back! Or I'll...
Professor Screweyes: Or you'll what? You're too enlightened by my brother's Brain Grain. You've lost your savagery. You've lost your frightening, prehistoric power to intimidate! You're civilized now and I've got a contract, and you're gonna respect that like the chumps that you are! But I'll tell you what I'd be willing to do: you all agree to take the Brain Drain, and I'll rip up this contract and set the kids free; if you don't take it, I'll bill them as the wild children of Hellzapoppin and use them to scare people in the sideshow! It's up to you!
Rex: [sighs] I'll take it.
Elsa: [angrily] And I'll take it, you loathsome creature!
Dweeb: [voice breaking] I'll do it.
Woog: [in tears] Me too.