John Candy credited as playing...
Sheriff Bud Boomer
- [the Mountie explains that Honey has been taken to the capital]
- Boomer: The capital, Toronto.
- RCMP Officer at Headquarters: No, the capital of Canada is Ottawa.
- Boomer: [laughing] Yeah, right. Do we look that stupid? Ottawa!
- Roy Boy: Nice try, Dudley.
- Roy Boy: You ever see The Dirty Dozen?
- Boomer: That was a cool movie.
- Roy Boy: Man, that was real cool.
- Boomer: Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, Ernest Borgnine...
- Kabral: Jim Brown.
- Roy Boy: Uh, Telly Savalas, Clint Walker...
- Kabral: Jim Brown.
- Boomer: Trini Lopez!
- Roy Boy: Cool.
- Kabral: Trini Lopez? I never could figure that one out, man. What in the hell was he doing in The Dirty Dozen, man? If I was putting together a group of murderers and cutthroats, Trini Lopez would not be in the starting lineup.
- Boomer: That's why he dies first.
- Roy Boy: Yeah, don't they all die?
- Boomer: They all don't die.
- Kabral: Jim Brown dies.
- Roy Boy: Hey man, what do you expect? Of all The Dirty Dozen, this black guy's supposed to sneak in behind enemy lines and pretend he was a Kraut? Huh?
- Boomer: Uh-huh?
- Kabral: That's not it, man. It's just the black guy always dies. Think about it, man. Unforgiven, Alien, Rocky 4, The Shining...
- Roy Boy: Star Trek 2, Forrest Gump, Witness...
- Boomer: Annie Hall! Not Annie Hall...
- Roy Boy: No, Night Of The Living Dead.
- Boomer: That's the one!
- Kabral: And what about that brother in Jurassic Park, man?
- Roy Boy: Oh, that was cool.
- Boomer: There was two black guys who died in that one! That was a twofer! You must be really pissed off at that one!
- Kabral: I'm telling you, man. The black guy always dies first.
- [Highway patrolman tells Boomer why his graffiti must be in both English and French]
- Highway Patrolman: Le Quebecois.
- Boomer: Huh?
- Highway Patrolman: You know. Wine drinkers. Pea soup eaters. French Canadians!
- RCMP Officer at Headquarters: Welcome to Canada.
- Boomer: Hold it right there, Canuck!
- RCMP Officer at Headquarters: Who are you?
- Boomer: I'm your worst nightmare. I'm a citizen with a constitutional right to bear arms!
- Boomer: Y'know, it's a free country. If he doesn't like it here, he can swim across the river to Canada. Lotta work there.