Kristin Scott Thomas credited as playing...
Fiona - Wedding One
- [at second wedding]
- Mrs. Beaumont: Are you married?
- Fiona: No.
- Mrs. Beaumont: Are you a lesbian?
- Fiona: Good lord! What makes you ask that?
- Mrs. Beaumont: Well, it is one of the possibilites for unmarried girls nowadays, and it's rather more interesting than saying, "Oh dear, never met the right chap," eh?
- Fiona: Quite right. Why be dull?
- Mrs. Beaumont: Thank you.
- [pause]
- Fiona: The truth is... well, the truth is, I have met the right person, and he's not in love with me, and until I stop loving him, no one else really has a chance.
- Mrs. Beaumont: Oh, what a shame.
- Fiona: Yes, isn't it?
- [another pause]
- Fiona: I was a lesbian once at school, but only for about fifteen minutes. I don't think it counts.
- Charles: Any idea who the girl in the black hat is?
- Fiona: The name's Carrie.
- Charles: Pretty.
- Fiona: American.
- Charles: Interesting.
- Fiona: Slut.
- Charles: Really?
- Fiona: Used to work at Vogue. Lives in America now. Only gets out with very glamorous people. Quite out of your league.
- Charles: Well, that's a relief. Thanks.
- Charles: Perhaps you were right, Hen. Perhaps we should've got married.
- Henrietta: Good God, no! Marry you and I'd have had to marry your friends and I'm not quite sure I could take Fiona.
- Charles: Fiona loves you.
- Henrietta: Fiona calls me Duckface.
- Charles: Well, I never heard that.
- Henrietta: Oh, Darling, come to lunch soon. Give me a ring, okay? Oh, still cute.
- [Henrieta leaves and Fiona aproaches]
- Fiona: How's Duckface?
- Charles: Good form actually, not too mad.
- Fiona: [about congratulating parents of bride and groom] God, I never know what to say in these ghastly line-ups.
- Gareth: It's a cinch! Just give a big warm hug and say the bride looks... pregnant.
- Matthew: Or you can stick with convention and say "You must be very proud."
- Fiona: Heaven preserve us...
- [in the line]
- Fiona: You must be very proud!
- Tom: Well, let's face the facts. If you weren't certain you wanted to marry her today, of all days - i.e., your wedding day - then it must have been the right decision, mustn't it?
- [Fiona looks at him as though she's about to say, "Bugger off, Tom," for the umpteenth time, then reaches out and touches his shoulder affectionately]
- Fiona: Quite right, Tom.
- Fiona: What do you do?
- Father Gerald: I'm training to be a priest.
- Fiona: Good Lord! Do you do weddings?
- Father Gerald: No, not yet. I will, though, of course. Jolly nerve-racking.
- Fiona: Yes, rather like the first time one has sex.
- Father Gerald: Well. Well, I suppose so.
- Fiona: Though rather less messy, of course, and far less call for condoms.