Christine Taylor credited as playing...
Marcia Brady
- Jason: Marcia, I may be able to use you as a model, but first you'll have to do a little work on yourself.
- Marcia Brady: You mean like walking with a book on my head?
- Jason: No, I mean like cutting that mousy hair, capping those teeth, and losing about 30 pounds, my little sausage. How do you feel about breast implants?
- Marcia Brady: [slaps him] Cut my hair?
- Marcia Brady: [suggesting a way to raise money] I've got it! We could enter that Search For The Stars contest! First prize is twenty thousand dollars!
- Greg Brady: That's a great idea, Marcia!
- Bobby Brady: Great idea, Marcia!
- Jan Brady: Am I invisible? Do I not have a voice? I had that idea two days ago!
- Peter Brady: [disgusted] Oh come on, Jan.
- Marcia Brady: [in Jan's thought] But Jan, you don't have friends. You're just jealous Jan.
- [Jan wakes up, holds a pair of scissors like a knife, and starts to cut Marcia's hair]
- Cindy Brady: Jan, what are you doing?
- Jan Brady: Go back to sleep Cindy!
- Cindy Brady: Jan don't. Marcia's hair is so beautiful.
- Jan Brady: Exactly. That's why I'm gonna make alot of money when I sell it.
- [Jan continues to cut Marcia's hair]
- Jan Brady: [laughs psychotically]
- Cindy Brady: [Screams]
- [Carol and Alice come into the room]
- Carol Brady: Jan, what are you doing?
- [Marcia's got a new hairdo]
- Carol Brady: Oh Marcia, I love your hair!
- Alice: What a groovy hairdo!
- Cindy Brady: Oh, you're so beautiful!
- Jan Brady: No! She was supposed to look bad! No! No!
- [Jan wakes up]
- Jan Brady: What a horrible dream.
- Marcia Brady: [shows Doug her swollen nose] I suppose you don't want to go out with me now, huh?
- Doug: Oh, of course I do. It's not your nose I'm after.
- [Doug kisses Marcia]
- Marcia Brady: Doug! I think I just felt your tongue in my mouth.
- Doug: It's called a french kiss.
- Marcia Brady: [Slaps him] But I thought you were from Nebraska!
- Marcia Brady: Oh those are pretty pictures, what have you modeled for?
- Model: Guess.
- Marcia Brady: Are you a Breck girl?
- Model: No, Guess Jeans.
- Marcia Brady: Levi's? Wrangler? Osh Kosh B'Gosh?
- Charlie: [Marcia kisses Charlie] Marcia, Marcia, I think I just felt your tongue in my mouth.
- Marcia Brady: It's called a French kiss, Charlie.
- Charlie: Um, Marcia, I gotta go. Uh something suddenly came up.
- [He walks away from Marcia]
- Jan Brady: [suggesting a way to raise money] I saw a sign at school today for a Search For The Stars contest. First prize is exactly twenty thousand dollars.
- Marcia Brady: Oh sure Jan, like we'd really win.
- Greg Brady: And that's why I called this meeting.
- Marcia Brady: Greg, what are we going to do?
- Peter Brady: Yeah, if we don't raise $20,000 in one week, we'll have to move.
- Bobby Brady: And go to a new school.
- Jan Brady: And make new friends.
- Marcia Brady: But Jan, you don't have any friends.
- Marcia Brady: Charlie asked me to the dance, and I said yes. Then Doug asked me to the dance, and I said yes to him too. What am I going to do?
- Greg Brady: Well, you just tell the guy you don't wanna go with, something suddenly came up.
- Marcia Brady: And that works?
- Greg Brady: Sure. Girls say it to me all the time.
- Doug: Marcia, got a minute?
- Marcia Brady: Forget it Doug. Even with a swollen nose, I can still smell a rat.
- [Noreen is in bed with Marcia]
- Marcia Brady: Noreen, is that you?
- Noreen: Oh, sorry, I thought that was my leg.