Jon Hegel credited as playing...
Isreal Swan
- George Noon: [interrupting the trappers' gruesome song about the joys of killing animals] Oh, stop!
- James Humphrey: That's sick!
- Frenchy Cabazon: I agree! Nutter was singing in the wrong key!
- Preston Nutter: No I wasn't! It was Loutzenheiser! I was singing in E-flat minor.
- Frenchy Cabazon: The song's in F-sharp major!
- Shannon Bell: I think they're the same thing. I mean, E flat is the relative major of F sharp.
- Frenchy Cabazon: No it isn't! The relative minor is three half-tones DOWN from the major, not up!
- George Noon: No, it's three down. Like A is the relative minor of C major.
- O.D. Loutzenheiser: But isn't A-sharp in C major?
- Shannon Bell: Wait, are you singing mixolydian scales or something?
- Frenchy Cabazon: A-sharp is tonic to C major! It's the sixth!
- James Humphrey: No, it isn't!
- Israel Swan: Well, it would be like a raised 13th if anything.
- Frenchy Cabazon: Oh well, you guys are just a bunch of loser diggers anyhow!
- James Humphrey: Oh, see, you know we're right!
- Israel Swan: If you don't find a nice girl in Colorado, just remember, there's plenty of mountain sheep.
- George Noon: How big of mountain sheep?
- [singing]
- Israel Swan: Sometimes, the world is black./And tears run from your eyes./Maybe we'll all get really sick./And maybe we'll all die... /Sooooooooooooo, let's build a snowman/We can make him our best friend./We can name him Tom or we can name him George!/We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall./Snowman!/He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view./If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you./So, let's build a snowman!/We can make him our best friend./We can name him Bob or we can name him Beowulf!/We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall./Snowman!/Hey!
- [Starts to tap dance]
- Israel Swan: He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view./If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you./Snowman! Snowman! Snowman!
- Frenchy Cabazon: Say, you gents wanna trade some furs for the trip?
- [takes some dead animals out of a sack]
- Frenchy Cabazon: We got rabbits and beavers.
- Israel Swan: Oh, how horrible!
- James Humphrey: Where'd you guys get all those little dead animals?
- O.D. Loutzenheiser: We're trappers, stupid!
- Alferd Packer: Poor little bunny rabbits.
- Shannon Bell: Howdy!
- General Store Clerk: Howdy!
- George Noon: Howdy!
- General Store Clerk: Howdy!
- Israel Swan: Howdy-do!
- General Store Clerk: Howdy!
- Frank Miller: Howdy!
- General Store Clerk: Howdy!
- James Humphrey: Howdy!
- General Store Clerk: Howdy!
- Alferd Packer: Howdy-do!
- General Store Clerk: Howdy!
- Israel Swan: I know what we should do: Let's build a snowman, we can make him our best friend!
- Frank Miller: Shut the fuck up, Swan!
- Israel Swan: [continues singing] We can name him Shannon! Shannon Wilson Bell! We can make him tall, we can make him not so tall...
- Frank Miller: SWAN! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
- Shannon Bell: [shoots Swan in the head, thus ending the musical number]