Horst Buchholz credited as playing...
Dottor Lessing
- Guido: Dr. Lessing!
- Dr. Lessing: Hello!
- [notices the flowers]
- Dr. Lessing: What are the flowers for?
- Guido: [thinks fast] Ah... for your departure!
- [hands him the flowers]
- Dr. Lessing: Thank you!
- Dr. Lessing: [softly reciting riddle at Nazi concentration camp officers' mess] Fat, fat, ugly, ugly, all yellow in reality. If you ask me what I am, I reply "Quark quark quark".
- [looks around surreptitiously]
- Dr. Lessing: Walking along, I go "Por-por". Who am I? Tell me true.
- Guido: [looks at Doctor Lessing in stunned silence]
- Dr. Lessing: [smiles] Hmphh... a duckling, no?
- Guido: [nods silently, still flabbergasted]
- Dr. Lessing: Is it not a duckling?
- [angrily]
- Dr. Lessing: It's not! A veterinarian friend of mine sent it to me from Vienna. I can't send him mine, until I solve this one. I thought: Duck-billed platypus. But it doesn't go "Quark quark quark quark". A duck-billed platypus goes...
- [pulls at corners of mouth with fingers, making a blowing sound]
- Dr. Lessing: "Ffrrr ffrrr-ffrrr ffrrr-ffrrr". Duck-billed platypus...
- [steps forward and whispers into Guido's ear]
- Dr. Lessing: I translated it into Italian for you last night. Well, what do you say? Everything points to a duckling!
- [assumes tragic tone and expression]
- Dr. Lessing: Help me, Guido. For heaven's sake, help me. I can't even sleep.
- [turns to side counter, talking to self]
- Dr. Lessing: Fat, fat... ugly, ugly... that's me... quark quark quark... It's the duckling!
- [wails and thumps side counter in frustration]
- Guido: [slowly and silently walks away, crestfallen at Doctor Lessing's callous, comic-tragic behavior]