Dilbert (1999–2000)
Daniel Stern: Dilbert
Photos
Quotes
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Dogbert : I'll bet you twenty bucks that giving doesn't feel good.
Dilbert : You're on my cynical friend.
Dogbert : To settle the bet, give me forty dollars and see if it feels good.
Dilbert : That would NOT feel good.
Dogbert : Then give me twenty dollars because you lost the bet.
Dilbert : Did I just make a bet where I would lose twenty dollars either way?
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[In a traffic jam]
Dilbert : Why are we all forced to go to work at the same time? Who arbitrarily decided that 8 AM was a good time for everyone to go to work?
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Dilbert : This fantasy has been a profound disappointment.
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Pointy-Haired Boss : I don't see anything that could stand in our way.
Dilbert : Sanity? Reality? The laws of physics?
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Dilbert : Well I'll be.
Garbageman : Actually, you already are.
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Dilbert : There's nothing wrong with my verbal skills. It only seems that way because my math skills are so high.
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Pointy-Haired Boss : Dillbert! Are you listening?
Dilbert : Of course I am. I've learned how to multi-task.
Loud Howard : But men can't multi-task. Only women can multi-task.
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Dilbert : [after witnessing Elbonian workers falling into an acid vat] Shouldn't there be a guard rail around that?
Elbonian Slavedriver : [laughing] That's a good one.
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Seven of Nine alarm clock : [as Dilbert reaches over to hit the snooze button] Don't touch me!
Dilbert : Then how do I turn you off?
Seven of Nine alarm clock : I am PLENTY turned off right now!
Dilbert : Clock tease.