Peter Dante: Gee Grenouille

The Waterboy

Gee Grenouille

Coach Klein: [it's half-time at the Bourbon Bowl and they're in the locker room] Anybody got an idea?
[Silence]
Derek Wallace: Hey, remember the time Bobby tackled the referee by mistake?
[Everybody chuckles]
Lyle Robideaux: Yeah, that was pretty funny. How 'bout the time Bobby tackled the guy from Louisville, and threw him into the stands?
[Everybody laughs]
Guy Grenouille: Y'all remember the time he intercepted the ball and his pants fell off, and he ran for the touchdown bare ass?
[Everybody laughs]
Farmer Fran: Remember the time Bobby Boucher...
[Begins to mumble in his southern drawl, and everybody stares at him]
Bobby Boucher: [Bobby shows up in the locker room by surprise] Remember the time Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl, do ya?
[Everybody starts cheering and shouting]

Guy Grenouille: Hey, moron! Hey! Moron! Duh! L-L-Look at me. I'm th-th-the waterboy. Duh! I got a wooden spoon! Duh!
Greg Meaney: [Bobby pictures the people who tomented him in the past] Smells like you need a shower, stinky!
[Meaney laughs evily]
Coach Red Beaulieu: You're fired!
[Red laughs evilly]
Bobby Boucher: [Captain Insano and Jim Simmonds laugh]
[Bobby becomes enraged]
Bobby Boucher: Stop makin' fun of me!
Guy Grenouille: Red thirty! Hut!
[Bobby chases Grenouille, screaming, then ramming and tackling him hard to the ground]
Coach Klein: [in amazement] Wow!
Derek Wallace: Damn!

Guy Grenouille: I don't want that loser on the team. Everybody's gonna laugh at us.
Lyle Robideaux: Everybody already 'is' laughing at us. We haven't won a game since nineteen-ninety-FOUR.