John Hannah: Jonathan

The Mummy

Jonathan

Evelyn: [upon opening Imhotep's sarcophagus and he falls forward] Oh, my God, I *hate* it when these things do that.
Rick: Is he supposed to look like that?
Evelyn: No, I've never seen a mummy look like this before. He-He's still... still...
Rick, Jonathan: ...juicy.

Rick: Let me get this straight. They ripped out your guts and they stuffed them in jars?
Evelyn: And then they take out your heart as well. Oh, and you know how they took out your brains?
Jonathan: Evy, I don't think we need to know this.
Evelyn: They take a sharp, red-hot poker, stick it up your nose, scramble things about a bit, and then rip it all out through your nostrils.
Rick: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
Evelyn: It's called mummification. You'll be dead when they do this.
Rick: For the record, if I don't make it out of here, don't put me down for mummification.
Jonathan: Likewise.

Winston: So, what's your little problem got to do with His Majesty's Royal Air Corps?
Rick: Not a damn thing.
Winston: Is it dangerous?
Rick: Well, you probably won't live through it.
Winston: By Jove, do you really think so?
Jonathan: Well, everybody else we've bumped into has died. Why not you?

Jonathan: [they have just walked into a large room full of gold] Can you see...
Rick: Yeah.
Jonathan: Can you believe...
Rick: Yeah.
Jonathan: Can we just...
Rick: No.

Rick: [to Mr. Henderson] This door doesn't open. She doesn't come out, and no one goes in, right?
Mr. Henderson: Right.
Rick: [to Mr. Daniels] Right?
Mr. Daniels: Right.
Evelyn: [locked in the bedroom] O'Connell! Jonathan!
Rick: Let's go, Jonathan.
Jonathan: Oh, uh, I thought I could just stay at the fort and, uh, reconnoiter.
Rick: Now!
Jonathan: Yeah. Right. We're just gonna rescue the... Egyptologist.

Jonathan: [Trying to buy some camels from a Bedouin] I only want four! Four! I only want four, not a whole bloody herd! O'Connell! Can you believe the cheek?
Rick: Will you just pay the man!
Jonathan: Oh, for heaven's sake! Can't believe the price of these fleabags! Yes, happy. Very good.
Rick: You probably could've got 'em for free. All we had to do was give him your sister.
Jonathan: Yes. Awfully tempting, wasn't it?
Rick: [as Evelyn walks up looking beautiful in her new black clothes with a veil hiding her face except the eyes] Awfully...

[last lines]
Jonathan: Well, I guess we go home empty-handed... again.
Rick: I wouldn't say that.
[looks at Evelyn]
Jonathan: Oh, please.
[Rick kisses Evelyn]
Jonathan: [to his camel] How about you, darling? Would you like a little kissy-wissy?
[the camel breathes on him]
Jonathan: Whew!

Jonathan: [Jonathan hands Evy a strange box] My whole life, I've never found anything, Evy. *Please* tell me I've found something.
Jonathan: [Evelyn opens the strange box, inside lies an ancient map] Jonathan?
Jonathan: Yes?
Evelyn: I think you found something.

Jonathan: Let's see what our friend the warden believed in.
[starts looking through the warden's pouch. Suddenly he cuts himself on something]
Rick: What?
Evelyn: My God, what is it?
Jonathan: A broken bottle. Glenlivet, twelve years old! Well, he may have been a stinky fellow, but he had good taste.

Jonathan: Never did like camels. Filthy buggers. They smell, they bite, they spit.
[the warden spits]
Jonathan: Disgusting.

Evelyn: Have you no respect for the dead?
Jonathan: Of course I do. But sometimes... I'd rather like to join them.
Evelyn: Well, I wish you would do it sooner rather than later before you ruin my career the way you've ruined yours.

Jonathan: [from deleted scene]
[as they are riding on camels, Jonathan accuses the Warden of things]
Jonathan: ... and you snore.
Warden Gad Hassan: I do not snore.
Jonathan: All night you snored.
Warden Gad Hassan: Break wind, maybe, but snore? *Never*!
Jonathan: And then there was the drooling. Anyway, how would you know? You were asleep.

Warden Gad Hassan: Come, come! Step over the threshold. Welcome to Cairo Prison, my humble home.
Evelyn: You told me that you got it on a dig down in Thebes.
Jonathan: Yeah, well, I was mistaken.
Evelyn: You lied to me.
Jonathan: I lie to everybody. What makes you so special?
Evelyn: I am your sister.
Jonathan: Well, that just makes you more gullible.
Evelyn: Jonathan, you stole it from a drunk at the local casbah.
Jonathan: Picked his pocket, actually. I don't think it's a very good...
Evelyn: Jonathan, will you stop being so ridiculous. Now what exactly is this man in prison for?
Warden Gad Hassan: Well, this I do not know, but when I heard you were coming, I asked him that myself.
Evelyn: And what did he say?
Warden Gad Hassan: He said he was just looking for a good time.