Bob Uecker credited as playing...
Harry Doyle
- [after accidentally-on-purpose spilling a soft drink on the Minnesota announcer]
- Harry Doyle: Oh, I'm so sorry. Here, here's a 20. Go get yourself another suit.
- Harry Doyle: Wingate is what you'd call a finesse pitcher. Relies on control, accuracy, not speed. They time this kid's fastball with an hourglass!
- Harry Doyle: The brothers Lopez steal second and third. Either somebody got their signals crossed or this is starting to look like a baseball team.
- Harry Doyle: Lance the Dance scores on what appears to be a triple axle thrown in with a salchow.
- Boll Weevils Announcer: What's he doing, is that a curtsy?
- Harry Doyle: Lance the Dance is entertaining the crowd. He is blowing kisses and curtsying. This must go back to his days as a balladeer.
- Boll Weevils Announcer: Oh, he was a singer?
- Harry Doyle: Dancer.
- Boll Weevils Announcer: Oh.
- Harry Doyle: And here's Cerrano, returning to baseball after taking some time off to search for... whatever the hell it was he lost. Maybe his mind!
- Harry Doyle: Yes, sir, I remember Gus Cantrell from the old California AA League. That was before Diet Coke became my beverage of choice. Gus was a pretty fair pitcher, but he'll have to be more than "pretty fair" to bring this bunch close to anything resembling a baseball team.
- [turns to color man and places his hand on the mic]
- Harry Doyle: They suck.
- Harry Doyle: It's been a while.
- Gus Cantrell: Yeah, well, one thing never changes.
- Harry Doyle: What's that?
- Gus Cantrell: Butterflies.
- Harry Doyle: Oh. What a decade to quit drinking.
- Chuck Swartski: [Harry wears a black hood like Taka] You're all nuts. You know that? Every last one of you.
- Harry Doyle: Well, it's an aura thing, which can only be appreciated by those of an enlightened nature.
- Chuck Swartski: Yeah, it doesn't hurt if you're a little tweaked upstairs. And don't even try and tell me you can see with that thing on.
- Harry Doyle: [describing the action perfectly] Now Tanaka takes a couple of practice cuts and steps up to the plate. Taka drives one through the infield, and the Buzz have another base hit.