Catherine Zeta-Jones: Marylin

Intolerable Cruelty

Marylin

Marylin Rexroth: [after Miles kisses Marylin] I could have you disbarred for that.
Miles Massey: It was worth it.
Marylin Rexroth: A romantic divorce attorney.
Miles Massey: You fascinate me.

Miles Massey: I guess, something inside of me died, when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me.
Marylin Rexroth: Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me.
Freddy Bender: No. Both of you wait a minute. Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone.
Wrigley: Hear, hear.
Freddy Bender: Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house.
Wrigley: Miles's house.
Freddy Bender: Whatever. A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, uh, repented, became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself.

Miles Massey: Your husband had told me you were the most beautiful woman he'd ever met. I didn't expect the most beautiful woman I'd ever met.
Marylin Rexroth: "Dismiss your vows, your feigned tears, your flattery, for where a heart is hard they make no battery".
Miles Massey: "Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?".
Marylin Rexroth: Now, you didn't ask me here to pick me up? You could be disbarred for that.
Miles Massey: Maybe I'm reckless.

Miles Massey: Correct me, but since by now, the ink must be dry, I believe I have the right to collect.
Marylin Rexroth: On?
Miles Massey: You promised to have dinner with me once you were free.
Marylin Rexroth: [Giggles] I said I wouldn't whilst I wasn't which implies no promise once I am.

Miles Massey: You're looking well, Marylin.
Marylin Rexroth: Hello Miles.
Miles Massey: Obscene wealth becomes you.
Marylin Rexroth: I should have known you'd be here.
Miles Massey: Be here? I'm the key note speaker.
Marylin Rexroth: How nice for you.
Miles Massey: Nailing Your Spouse's Assets.
Marylin Rexroth: Excuse me?
Miles Massey: My speech.
Marylin Rexroth: Oh... Oh, I'm sure you'll bring the house down.
Miles Massey: It's an easy crowd. At this point, I think you're probably the only person I can't teach anything to.
Marylin Rexroth: Really?

Miles Massey: Marylin, think of me for a moment, not as an attorney, but as a friend.
Marylin Rexroth: Does that mean you won't be charging us for the hour?

Miles Massey: Tell me more about yourself.
Marylin Rexroth: Alright, Miles. Let me tell you everything you need to know. You may think you're tough, but I eat men like you for breakfast.

Marylin Rexroth: No, no, no, no, no, this is all wrong.
Miles Massey: What? Is it the kilt?
Marylin Rexroth: Do you love me?
Miles Massey: More than anything.
Marylin Rexroth: Can I trust you?
Miles Massey: Yes, you can trust me.
Miles Massey: [Marylin grabs the Massey prenupt and tears it] Darling, you're exposed!
Marylin Rexroth: A sitting duck.

Miles Massey: [after ordering food for both of them] I assume you're a carnivore.
Marylin Rexroth: [laughing] Oh, Mr. Massey. You have *no* *idea*.

Gus Petch: You seem to be taking it pretty good. I've seen 'em come in here, weep and wail like Baptists at a funeral. Like they hired me to prove their husbands weren't fooling around.
Marylin Rexroth: Don't get me wrong, Mr...
Gus Petch: Petch. Gus Petch.
Marylin Rexroth: Whilst I don't find this terribly amusing, I am delighted that you found this material. This is going to be my passport to wealth, independence... and freedom.
Gus Petch: [chickles] Sounds like to me that you gonna nail his ass.

Marylin Rexroth: What was your performance about this afternoon?
Miles Massey: What did your lawyer say?
Marylin Rexroth: Freddy, thinks you're a buffoon. He says you've been too successful. You're bored, complacent and you're on your way down.
Miles Massey: But you don't think so.
Marylin Rexroth: How do you know?
Miles Massey: Why would you be here?
Marylin Rexroth: Why did you ask me?
Miles Massey: Can't I be curious?
Marylin Rexroth: About what?
Miles Massey: Do you ever answer a question?
Marylin Rexroth: Do you?
Miles Massey: [changing the subject, to the waiter] I'll have the tournedos of beef. The lady will have the same. Thank you.
Waiter: Thank you, Sir.

Miles' Receptionist: Mr. Massey?
Miles Massey: Please, no calls. I'm feeling a little fragile.
Miles' Receptionist: I'm sorry, Mr. Massey, but I felt certain you'd want to know. Marylin Rexroth wants to see you.
Miles Massey: Marylin? Uh... When did she...?
Miles' Receptionist: She's here now.
Miles Massey: Is she armed?
[laughs]
Miles Massey: Give me a minute.
[gargles and looks at himself in the mirror]
Miles Massey: Marylin... how nice of you to. Marylin... shame on you. Marylin... what a lovely surprise.
[opening the door]
Miles Massey: # Marylin, what a pleasure...
[seeing Howard]
Miles Massey: Who the hell are you?
Marylin Rexroth: Hello, Miles. So nice of you to see us.

Flight Attendant: You didn't win.
Marylin Rexroth: Excuse me?
Flight Attendant: I can always tell, coming back from Vegas, who didn't win.
Marylin Rexroth: You're right.

Marylin Rexroth: I've invested five good years in my marriage to Rex and I've nailed his ass fair and square. Now I'm going to have it stuffed, mounted, and have my lady friends come over and throw darts at it.

Marylin Rexroth: They bought Massey's argument. If I lied or cheated and was with Rex only for his money, then he shouldn't have to give me any.
Sarah Sorkin: Well, that makes no sense. Why else would you put in all those years?