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Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man (2002)

J.K. Simmons: J. Jonah Jameson

Spider-Man

J.K. Simmons credited as playing...

J. Jonah Jameson

Photos11

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Quotes16

  • Peter Parker: You don't trust anyone, that's your problem.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: I trust my barber.
  • Peter Parker: Spider-Man wasn't trying to attack the city, he was trying to save it. That's slander.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: It is not. I resent that. Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: [about Peter's pictures of Spider-Man] They're crap. Crap, crap, megacrap. I'll give you two hundred bucks for all of 'em.
  • [the Goblin crashes through the Daily Bugle office]
  • Green Goblin: [grabbing Jameson by the throat] Jameson you slime! Who's the photographer who takes pictures of Spider-Man?
  • J. Jonah Jameson: I don't know who he is! His stuff comes in the mail!
  • Green Goblin: YOU'RE LYING!
  • J. Jonah Jameson: I swear!
  • Green Goblin: He's the one who can take me to him!
  • J. Jonah Jameson: I don't know who he is!
  • Green Goblin: [preparing to punch Jameson] You are useless you...!
  • Spider-Man: [appears upside-down outside the window] Settle down, tough guy.
  • Green Goblin: [drops Jameson and turns around on the glider] Speak of the Devil!
  • J. Jonah Jameson: He doesn't want to be famous? Then I'll make him infamous.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: If we can get a picture of Julia Roberts in a thong, we can certainly get a picture of this weirdo.
  • Hoffman: Mr. Jameson they are very important clients, they can't wait.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: They're about to.
  • Hoffman: We've got a page six problem.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: We've got a page one problem, shut up.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: No jobs! Freelance! Best thing in the world for a kid your age. You bring me some more pictures of that newspaper-selling clown, maybe I'll take 'em off your hands. But I never said you have a job. *Meat*. I'll send you a nice box of Christmas meat. It's the best I can do - get out of here.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: Who is Spider-Man? He's a criminal that's who he is! A vigilante! A public menace! What's he doing on MY front page?
  • J. Jonah Jameson: Hoffman, run down to the patent office, copyright the name "Green Goblin." I want a quarter every time someone says it.
  • Hoffman: How about "Green Meanie"?
  • J. Jonah Jameson: [describing a headline] "Spider-Man, Hero or Menace? Exclusive Daily Bugle Photos".
  • Peter Parker: Menace? He was protecting that armored truck...
  • J. Jonah Jameson: Tell you what Atticus, you take the pictures, I'll make up the headlines! Ok? Is that ok with you?
  • Peter Parker: Yes sir.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: Goody.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: What are you, his lawyer? Get out of here, let him sue me! Get rich like a normal person!
  • Joseph 'Robbie' Robertson: We sold out four printings.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: Sold out?
  • Joseph 'Robbie' Robertson: Every copy.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: Tomorrow morning, Spider-man page one, with a decent picture this time...
  • Green Goblin: [grabbing Jameson by the throat] Jameson, you slime! Who's the photographer who takes the pictures of Spider-Man?
  • J. Jonah Jameson: I don't know who he is. His stuff comes in the mail...
  • Green Goblin: YOU'RE LYING!
  • J. Jonah Jameson: I swear!
  • Green Goblin: He's the one who can bring me to him.
  • J. Jonah Jameson: I don't know who he is!
  • Green Goblin: [about to punch him] You are useless.
  • Spider-Man: Set him down, tough guy.
  • Green Goblin: Speak of the devil!
  • J. Jonah Jameson: Spider-Man! I knew you two were in this together! I...
  • [Spider-Man plasters his web over Jameson's mouth]
  • Spider-Man: Hey kiddo! Let mom and dad talk for a minute, will ya?
  • Green Goblin: [sprays knockout gas at Spider-Man] Sleep!
  • J. Jonah Jameson: I resent that slander is spoken in print its libal.

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