Allison Janney credited as playing...
Ms. Perky
- Ms. Perky: So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class... again.
- Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
- Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested.
- Kat Stratford: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.
- Ms. Perky: Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual.
- Patrick: Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, hit the lights?
- Ms. Perky: Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria?
- Patrick: I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst.
- Ms. Perky: Bratwurst? Aren't we the optimist? Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay? Scoot!
- Ms. Perky: Nine schools in ten years. My, my. Army brat?
- Cameron: Yeah, my-my dad is, uh...
- Ms. Perky: That's enough. I'm sure you won't find Padua any different than your old schools. Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere.
- Cameron: Excuse me? D-Did you just say... Am I in the right office?
- Ms. Perky: Not any more you're not. I've got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now scoot. Scoot!
- Ms. Perky: People perceive you as somewhat...
- Kat Stratford: Tempestuous?
- Ms. Perky: "Heinous bitch" is the term used most often.
- Ms. Perky: [writing her novel] Undulating with desire, Adrian removes her red...
- [breaks concentration, chooses another word]
- Ms. Perky: crimson cape, at the site of Reginal's stiff and... Judith! What's another word for "engorged"?
- Judith: [disgusted] I'll look it up.
- Ms. Perky: Okay.
- [thinking of word]
- Ms. Perky: Swollen... Turgid...
- Kat Stratford: [enters] Tumescent?
- Ms. Perky: Perfect!
- Kat Stratford: I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member.
- Ms. Perky: "Quivering member." I like that.