Kieran Culkin credited as playing...
Simon Boggs
- [first lines]
- Laney Boggs: Simon! Simon, I have got your breakfast! Are you up?
- Simon Boggs: Give me a couple of minutes.
- Laney Boggs: Simon Boggs, there are children in Mexico who have already been up for three hours making clothes for corporate America.
- Zach Siler: [Simon is being bullied by Munge and Derek in the cafeteria and are separated by Zach] You're gonna take your magazine, get over there, and you apologize to my friend Simon.
- Derek Funkhouser Rutley: [half-heartedly] Sorry.
- Jeffrey Munge Rylander: [guardedly] Sorry.
- Zach Siler: [to Derek] You... pube boy. Grab the pizza.
- [Derek holds the pube-laced pizza up]
- Zach Siler: Well?
- Derek Funkhouser Rutley: Well what?
- Zach Siler: [smiles] What do you think? Hoover it.
- [Derek hesitates]
- Zach Siler: Now!
- [others groan in disgust]
- Zach Siler: That's it... chew, chew, chew.
- Zach Siler: [after Munge chuckles] Don't finish that... Munge wants some of the action.
- Jeffrey Munge Rylander: No way, man. Those are his pubes.
- Zach Siler: Well, you should have thought about that before you picked on my friend Simon.
- Simon Boggs: [gloating to Munge] Hoover it.
- Jeffrey Munge Rylander: [Derek hands pizza to Munge] Thanks.