Orlando Jones credited as playing...
Dan • Esteban • Beach Jock • Sportscaster • African Party Guest
- Dr. Ngegitigegitibaba: It's already won the Poo-litzer Prize and it hasn't even been poo-blished, yet!
- Elliot Richards: Well, like they say, Dr. Oingegedaydegegdeaybaba, a Pulitzer Prize and $3.50 will get you a café latte.
- [Two of Elliot's friends are sportscasters during the basketball wish]
- Jerry: The fans are going nuts here at the Forum in Los Angeles. The score, 135 to 85. Elliot Richards has totally dominated. If you're just tuning in, it's a shame because you've missed one of the greatest performances in the history of sports.
- Lamar Garrett: Absolutely, Jerry. Absolutely. People say basketball caught fire with the ass-sendry of Michael Jordan. But after what we've seen here tonight, a lot of people are gonna be saying, Michael who?
- Jerry: Right from the get-go, the fans took a look at Elliot Richards and a few women fainted and a few fellas, well, I'd rather not say, but they liked what they saw.
- Lamar Garrett: Absolutely. He's a big fella and an imposing fella.
- Jerry: He's enormous. He's listed at 7'6 in the program, but I say he plays, like you said, 11 feet tall.
- Lamar Garrett: No, I don't think he's that big, Jerry.
- Jerry: No, I'm saying the game he plays is that of some Viking giant with a basketball in one hand and a club in the other and standing 10, 11, 12 feet tall!
- Lamar Garrett: He was Phi Slamma Jamma runnin' stank all over it with rib-ticklin' jumps of double vanilla funk!
- [after Elliot the basketball player makes a slam dunk and breaks the backboard glass]
- Lamar Garrett: [as Elliot is doing so] Elliot Richards: spittin' glass at your ass!