Eugene Levy: Jim's Dad

American Pie 2

Jim's Dad

Jim's Dad: You may be Jimbo, or Jumbo, or Jimbodini to those guys in there, but there are still two people who haven't forgotten where James Emmanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you son.
Jim: Thanks, Dad.
Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream.

Jim's Dad: Musilage is dangerous territory, and uhh, I would think any adhesive product would have a warning right on the tube.
Jim: I thought it was a, uhh, a lubricant. Ok, I was trying to use lubricant.
Jim's Dad: Oh... oh...
Wheelchair Lady: [looking at the Pussy Palace magazine] Son, couldn't you have left that disgusting thing at home?
Jim's Dad: Excuse me?
Wheelchair Lady: Well, that kind of material is offensive to me.
Jim's Dad: Ohh, well we're sorry, but uh, but you see my son *couldn't* leave it at home because uhh, he's having a bit of a medical emergency?
Jim: That's right. Thanks Dad.
Jim's Dad: Your opinion of his taste in video rentals is not a priority lady. Okay? It's at the bottom of the totem pole. My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis, but that doesn't mean anything to you does it? Because you don't have a penis. Or maybe you do?

Jim's Dad: [to Natalie's Dad] Hi, I'm Jim's Dad. You must be the parents of this young lady. I didn't get your daughter's name, but hopefully my son did.

[Jim's Dad sees Jim looking at pictures of Nadia]
Jim's Dad: Ah, yes. The one that got away.
Jim: Yeah.
Jim's Dad: Yeah. Well, evidently you two made quite the handsome couple on the Internet... Oh, I didn't see it. It, uh, was brought up at a P.T.A. meeting.

Jim's Dad: My point is, these little sexual debacles should not get you down, because you know what? It happens to the best of us. In fact the first time your mother and I got together, I used a condom. Well she referred to is as "shrink wrapping". But, I got over it. Anyway, keep your chin up and keep plugging, and uh, good things will happen. Good to have you home, son.

Jim's Mom: Honey, your speeches embarrass him; so, try and do with the kids' say and just "be cool." Huh?
Jim's Dad: I think I bring new meaning to the word "cool," honey.

Jim's Dad: You know, Jim, eh, I think we should keep your mother in the dark about the little incident tonight. I think the whole glue thing might, eh, get her a little queasy.