Louis Mandylor credited as playing...
Nick Portokalos
- Nick Portokalos: I've never seen my sister this happy, Ian. If you hurt her, I'll kill you and make it look like an accident.
- Nick Portokalos: Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be part of who you will become.
- Toula Portokalos: Nick, that's beautiful.
- Nick Portokalos: Yeah, that Dear Abby really knows what she's talking about.
- Nick Portokalos: Listen, you know. I really think you should say: eho tria orchidea. It means: everyone, let's come in the house. I think everybody will really like it.
- Ian Miller: [mispronouncing] Eho tria orchidea?
- Nick Portokalos: Yeah! That's good! Very good! You got it!
- Ian Miller: I'm not falling for that again, Nick.
- Nick Portokalos: What?
- Ian Miller: Yeah, what. Angelo? How do you say: everyone, let's go into the house?
- Angelo: Eho tria orchidea!
- Nick Portokalos: Hum?
- Ian Miller: Everyone: eho tria orchidea!
- [in Greek: "I have three testicles!" - everybody laughs and Taki looks at Ian's crotch, surprised]
- [during Ian's baptism]
- Nick Portokalos: See? This isn't so bad.
- Toula Portokalos: Are you kidding? Any second now he's gonna look at me and go, "Ha. Yeah, right, you're so not worth this."
- Nick Portokalos: Yes, you are.
- [Ian reads the wedding invitation]
- Ian Miller: My parents' names are Rodney and Harriet.
- Toula Portokalos: [horrified] Rodney and HARRY!
- Nick Portokalos: We didn't notice, so maybe they won't.
- Nick Portokalos: Hello ladies, fresh baklava!
- [takes picture]
- Nikki: [girls scream] Nick, give me the camera!
- Nick Portokalos: Toula! Toula, help me, c'mon!
- Nikki: No boys allowed!
- Nick Portokalos: Oh, nice mustache, Nikki!
- Nikki: Thank you!
- Gus Portokalos: Niko, let's go, let's go.
- Nick Portokalos: Dad, is that my tux?
- Gus Portokalos: No, this one.
- Toula Portokalos: Nick, go to the airport and pick up the band!
- Nick Portokalos: Okay, okay.
- Gus Portokalos: Hey, what is that thing?
- Aunt Lexy: It's a mosquito bite.
- Cousin Jennie: [runs, bumps into Nick] I've got the coverup!
- Nick Portokalos: [as the girls girls cheer and leave] You're all nuts!
- Maria Portokalos: Where did you go?
- Nick Portokalos: Nowhere.
- Maria Portokalos: What did you do?
- Nick Portokalos: Nothing.
- Maria Portokalos: Who did you see?
- Nick Portokalos: No one.