Cheryl Hines credited as playing...
Cheryl David • Cheryl
- Cheryl: [Larry discusses becoming a restaurant host] I thought you didn't like talking to people.
- Larry David: I don't like talking to... to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
- [Cheryl is reading a draft of her renewed wedding vows to Larry]
- Cheryl: "We'll love each other throughout this lifetime, but after death through all eternity."
- Larry: You mean this is... this is continuing into the afterlife?
- Cheryl: Yeah, that's the idea. Do you have a problem with that?
- Larry: Well, I... I thought this was over at death. I didn't know we went into eternity together. Isn't that what it said in... "'til death do us part, " I thought it was...
- Cheryl: Do you have a problem with eternity?
- Larry: Well...
- Cheryl: We finally found each other, Larry, and we're celebrating this for all eternity.
- Larry: I guess I had a different plan for eternity. I thought... I thought I'd be single again.
- Restaraunt Chef: [Larry hires a chef who has Tourette's Syndrome] Fuckhead shitface cocksucker asshole son of a bitch!
- [the restaurant suddenly turns silent]
- Larry David: [Remembering seeing some high school students support a kid with cancer] Maybe one day I'll get a chance to do something good for somebody like that.
- Larry David: [Aloud] Scum-sucking motherfucking whore!
- Jeff Greene: Cock! Cock! Jism! Grandma! Cock!
- Michael York: Bum! Fuck, turd, fart... cunt, piss, shit, bugger and balls!
- Restaurant Manager: Dammit... hell... crap... ssssssshit!
- Cheryl: Ya goddamn motherfuckin' bitch!
- Susie Greene: [Thinking Cheryl is yelling at her] Fuck you, you car wash cunt! I HAD A DENTAL APPOINTMENT!
- Cheryl's Dad: Fellatio, cunnilingus, french kissing! Rimjob.
- Richard Lewis: Pussy pig fucker!
- Jeff Greene's Dad: Boy cock, girl cock, E-I-E-I-O!
- [Everyone in the restaurant is now laughing hysterically]
- [after leaving a terrible dinner party]
- Larry: What's the level of anger here? What am I dealing with?
- Cheryl: Well, I'd have to say at least an 8.7.
- Larry: 8.7? That's not that bad. I thought it would be at least a 9.
- Cheryl: It was a 9. Then you broke that lamp, and the crazy woman screamed at you, and it got you some pity points.
- Larry: Pity points. That's fabulous, I love pity points. But how can I get to a 7? I know a 6 is out of the question, but is there any way I can get to a 7?
- Cheryl: Okay, you know what? I think my friend Julie was just saying that the Beverly Park Country Club might be taking new members.
- Susie Greene: Ah, eh...
- Larry: It's... pretty.
- Cheryl: I think they're taking new members, and it's a beautiful country club...
- Susie Greene: All right, look, I don't want to offend you, but there's like three fuckin' Jews in the whole club, okay? It's not for us. It's WASP, WASP, Republican city...
- Cheryl: Okay, you know what? I fit in with you guys all the time, for years I've been going to your thing, so...
- Larry: How am I even gonna get by in the interview?
- Susie Greene: [points at Larry] This one would stick out like a sore fuckin' thumb, this Jewface over here.
- Larry: Oh, I'm more of a Jewface than *you*?
- Susie Greene: Hey, fuck you, Larry, okay? I didn't get us into this predicament!
- Larry: I'm much more gentiley than you are!
- [Larry has just offended a rabbi]
- Nat David: He doesn't know what he's doing.
- Cheryl's Mom: He really doesn't.
- Cheryl: No, he's...
- Larry: What do they say in The Bible? "He knows not... whereof he... "
- Rabbi: Don't try, don't try to quote The Bible.
- Larry: "... he speaks not?... "
- Rabbi: Just, just don't try...
- Larry: "... forked tongue?... He knows not whereof he... whence he speaks?... "
- Cheryl's Mom: Okay!
- Nat David: Larry... if you could be quiet.
- Cheryl: Hi, Wandering Bear.
- Wandering Bear: Hello. How is... your vagina?
- Cheryl: It's... getting better.
- Wandering Bear: Good!
- Larry David: Have you ever played telephone before? You don't even know how to play telephone, do you?
- Cheryl: I *do* know how to play telephone.
- Larry David: Oh, do you?
- Cheryl: Yeah, but I usually play the "G" version. It's usually something like, "Susie lives down the lane."
- Larry David: The kid didn't say "Susie lives down the lane," he said "I love tits!"