Bruce Spence: Chum

Finding Nemo

Chum

Marlin: There was this mollusk, and he walks up to this sea cucumber. Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke everyone talks. So the sea mollusk says to the cucumber...
[sees the mask]
Marlin: Nemo!
Chum: [laughing] Nemo! Ha ha! Nemo... I don't get it.
Bruce: For a clown fish, he's not that funny.

Bruce: Hello. My name is Bruce.
Anchor, Chum: Hello, Bruce.
Bruce: It has been three weeks since my last fish, on my honor, or may I be chopped up and made into soup.
[Anchor and Chum applaud]
Chum: You're an inspiration to us all!
Anchor: Amen!

Bruce: Today's meeting is Step 5: Bring a fish friend. Everyone brought a fish friend?
Anchor: Got mine.
[a small fish shivering with fear]
Dory: Hi there!
Bruce: What about you, Chum?
Chum: Oh... um... I seem to have misplaced my, um... friend.
[a fish skeleton peeks from Chum's teeth; Chum quickly sucks it back in]
Bruce: That's all right, mate. I had a feeling this would be a hard step. You can help yourself to one of my friends.
Chum: [Taking Marlin] Thanks mate. A little chum for Chum, eh?

Chum: Dolphins, yeah! They think they're so cute. "Oh, look at me, I'm a flippy little dolphin, let me flip for you. Ain't I something?"

[Marlin and Dory are each pulling on the mask; it snaps and hits Dory in the face]
Dory: Ow!
Marlin: Oh, I'm really sorry. Are you okay?
Dory: Ow, ow, ow!
Marlin: I'm so sorry.
Dory: You really clocked me there. Am I bleeding?
[a wisp of blood floats from Dory's nose]
Marlin: Ohh!
Dory: Ow. Ow. Ow.
Bruce: Dory, are you okay...
[Sniffs the blood; his eyes turn black]
Bruce: Oh, ooooooh, that's good...
Chum, Anchor: Intervention!