Allan Sherman credited as playing...
The Cat in the Hat
- Cat in the Hat: When you've mislaid a certain something, keep your cool and don't get hot. Calculatus Eliminatus is the best friend that you've got. Calculatus Eliminatus always helps an awful lot. The way to find a missing something is to find out where it's not.
- Cat in the Hat: And what am I in dear old Ireland?
- Boy: Why, you're a cate in a kinfert.
- Cat in the Hat: And in Holland?
- Sally: You're a... let me see... Oh, you're a cat in a hoe.
- Cat in the Hat: Glory be!
- Cat in the Hat: Very well. I'm a punk. A crotunculous shnunk. Nobody loves me, not one tiny hunk. I agree; I'm a gripulous, gropulous groo. I'm a shmoozler, a shmingler, and a foo-poobler too! I'm a horrendous object, which nobody loves. I'm untouchable, unless you wear anti-sceptical gloves. So what? I'm a punk! A crotunculous shnunk. Nobody loves me, not one tiny hunk. I'm a punk.
- Mr. Krinklebein the Fish: Out! Out! Out of this house!
- Cat in the Hat: OUT? OUT? Why every house should have a cat in it... curled up by the fireplace little warm...
- Mr. Krinklebein the Fish: Out! And take those things with you! Out!
- Cat in the Hat: Take the things? But who ever heard of a house without things in it?
- Mr. Krinklebein the Fish: They're not things, they're, they're... and you're not a cat! Whoever heard of a six-foot cat?
- Cat in the Hat: Somebody stole my moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza! Nobody's gonna leave this room until I find it!
- Cat in the Hat: Who's that? I believe we haven't yet met.
- Mr. Krinklebein the Fish: The name is Krinklebein. Carlos K. Krinklebein. Now please go away. Tell that top-hatted cat he should not be about. He should not be here when your mother is out!
- Mr. Krinklebein the Fish: By the way, Cat, just what is a family gredunza?
- Cat in the Hat: Oh, they come in all styles from triple-G to minus-aught.
- Boy: Is it bigger than a...?
- Cat in the Hat: Occasionally, but on most occasions, not.
- Sally: Is it smaller than a...?
- Cat in the Hat: They no longer make that kind, but one family gredunza is always smaller than another.
- Cat in the Hat: My dear, Mr. Krinklebein. My tricks are quite safe. I invite you to join in the fun, if you wish, in a game that I call... Up, Up, Up, With a Fish!
- Cat in the Hat: It's up to you kids, whatever you say. If you think me untrustworthy, send me away.
- Sally: Well, he is getting the house sort of messy and dirty, and Mother...
- Boy: Yeah, Mother; back home at 3:30.
- Cat in the Hat: A vote of no confidence. I most humbly bow to the voice of the majority. Good bye, now. Off to Siberia.
- Cat in the Hat: Now, if I were a fish, where would I hide a moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza?
- Boy: Whatever it is, it isn't here.
- Sally: And whatever it is, it isn't here.
- Cat in the Hat: Wherever it is, it is left in some lurch. Wherever it is, we must speed up the search.
- Mr. Krinklebein the Fish: I'll tell you this: it's not in the unabridged dictionary.
- Cat in the Hat: [singing] It can be done, it can be done, they can find anything, anything, anything under the sun, if your nerves are getting nervous and your house is topsy tervous they are always at your service, Thing 2 and Thing 1!
- Thing 1: [singing] Fish, fish there's always one, some long faced sordid son of a gun!
- Thing 2: [singing] There's always some fish, some solitary fish who's only one wish is to threaten the fun!
- Thing 1, Thing 2: [both] He doesn't like fun, doesn't like fun, good clean wholesome innocent fun!
- Thing 2: [singing] There's always some who doesn't like fun good clean wholesome innocent fun!
- Cat in the Hat: [singing] They can find anything, anything, anything, under the sun!
- Thing 2: [singing] There's a reactionary fish-faced louse who doesn't like flying kites in the house!
- Cat in the Hat: [singing] They can find anything, anything under the sun!