Greg Grunberg credited as playing...
Eric Weiss
- [talking about Sydney]
- Weiss: So she gave you a drawer, huh?
- Vaughn: It was a gesture of convenience.
- Weiss: And, uh, what did you put it in?
- Vaughn: Why do you care?
- Weiss: What do you mean, why do I care? Do you know how spoiled you are? You know, a drawer! I wish I had a girlfriend to say 'Hey, do you want a drawer?'
- Vaughn: I'll give you a drawer at my place.
- Weiss: I don't want a drawer at your place.
- [Sydney and Vaughn walk into Syd's apartment, Vaughn's cell phone rings]
- Vaughn: Hello?
- Agent Eric Weiss: Hey, Kendall has something he wants to show you.
- Vaughn: Ah, can it wait?
- Agent Eric Weiss: Apparently not, he wants to Sydney too. Are you with her?
- Vaughn: Ah, no. I haven't seen her.
- Agent Eric Weiss: You're in bed with her right now, aren't you?
- Vaughn: Trying. Just find out what he wants.
- Sydney: You've lost weight.
- Agent Eric Weiss: Yeah, I stopped eating all the foods I like. I'm miserable, but I look really good.
- [Vaughn and Weiss watch as a sleazy bad guy leers at Sydney while she's in disguise as a prostitute]
- Vaughn: That son of a bitch!
- Weiss: Easy, come on.
- Vaughn: I swear I'm gonna to kill this guy.
- Weiss: There's no way that guy smells as good as you do.
- Vaughn: It's aftershave, I got a new aftershave.
- Weiss: Yeah, well, I'd lighten up on it a little.
- Vaughn: Yeah?
- Weiss: Oh yeah. To the point of non-use.
- Weiss: Hey, you sure you don't want to talk about this?
- Vaughn: There's nothing to talk about.
- Weiss: I share my fights with you.
- Vaughn: No you don't.
- Weiss: Yeah I do. Remember when Alan pissed in the living room?
- Vaughn: That was your dog!
- Weiss: Yeah, but I was angry about it and I let you know how upset I was.
- [Weiss has just prompted Vaughn to finally ask Sydney out on a date while on a mission in Nice]
- Weiss: And?
- Vaughn: We're going to dinner.
- [Weiss breaks into a celebratory dance]
- Vaughn: I'm going to keep my comm channel open. I need you to monitor the RF frequency.
- Weiss: Got it. Okay, in exchange I get an eclair.
- Vaughn: No, I'm serious, any suspect signal and I want to know about it. Anything.
- Weiss: If they're small, bring at least two!
- Agent Eric Weiss: Did you ever stop to think that the reason you and Sydney work so well together is because of the feelings you have for each other?
- [pause]
- Agent Eric Weiss: How's that for spin?
- Vaughn: Pretty good.
- Weiss: By the power invested in me by the United Church of Mammals, I now pronounce you man and wife.
- [Vaughn is beating a punching bag, obviously angry]
- Agent Eric Weiss: The bag is dead, I think you can stop now.
- Vaughn: Thanks for coming.
- Agent Eric Weiss: Thanks for sweating.
- Weiss: So, in a case like this, we start by digitizing all the news coverage that covered the bombing. You, uh, you like Italian food?
- Christine Phillips: I have a boyfriend.
- [Weiss looks up as Vaughn walks in the room]
- Weiss: Yeah, me too.
- Sophia Vargas/Elena Derevko: Eric, you have no idea how exited I am to meet you. Nadia says the most beautiful things about you.
- [she walks away]
- Agent Eric Weiss: [obviously happy] Really?
- Nadia Santos: She asked me if you were tall, dark and handsome. I told her you were tall.
- [they kiss]
- Agent Eric Weiss: You really want some space, or are you and I going to go get drunk? 'Cause there's this bar - you won't even remember it tomorrow.