Tim Blake Nelson credited as playing...
Dr. Pendanski
- Mr. Sir: What're we gonna do?
- The Warden Walker: You'll do as I say.
- [puts her hat on and leaves]
- Mr. Pendanski: What did she say?
- Mr. Sir: Not much.
- Mr. Pendanski: What do we do?
- Mr. Sir: You'll do as I say.
- [puts his hat on and leaves]
- Mr. Pendanski: But you didn't say anything either.
- Mr. Pendanski: D-I-G. What does that spell?
- Zero: [takes shovel and whacks Mr. Pendanski across the face with it] DIG.
- Mr. Pendanski: You are here on account of one person; do you know who that one person is?
- Stanley: Yeah, my no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather, that's who it is.
- Mr. Pendanski: No, you.
- Mr. Pendanski: Good morning, Theodore!
- Armpit: Man, it's Armpit! I don't know no fool named Theodore.
- Mr. Pendanski: Well, I don't know no fool named Armpit.
- [Hands him water]
- Mr. Pendanski: Here's your water, who-ever-you-are.
- Mr. Sir: There ain't nothing down there. We woulda found it by now.
- Mr. Pendanski: I wouldn't tell the queen bee that.
- Mr. Sir: I ain't on stupid pills!
- Mr. Pendanski: They all have their little nicknames, however I prefer to use the names their parents gave them,the names society will recognize them by.
- The Warden Walker: How about you dig, and Caveman can fill the canteens? So what do you want to do?
- Mr. Pendanski: I'll fill the canteens.
- Mr. Pendanski: Stanley, if you've got any questions, just ask Theodore. Theodore will be your mentor. Got that, Theodore?
- Armpit: Yeah, man. Whatever, dude.
- Mr. Pendanski: I'm depending on you. It should be no labor to be nice to your neighbor.
- The Warden Walker: Dr. Pendanski, drive X-ray back to camps. Give him double shower tokens and a snack. But first, fill everyone's canteen!
- Mr. Pendanski: I already filled them!
- The Warden Walker: Excuse me?
- Mr. Pendanski: I had already filled them when you drove up in the car.
- The Warden Walker: Excuse me, did I ask you when you lasted filled them?
- Mr. Pendanski: No, you didn't but...
- The Warden Walker: Excuse me, now these fine boys have been working hard. Don't you think it just might be possible they have taken a drink since you filled their canteens?
- Mr. Pendanski: It's possible.