Ralph Fiennes credited as playing...
Victor Quartermaine
- Reverend Clement Hedges: To kill such a creature will require nerves of steel, and... a bullet.
- [lightning strikes]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: A bullet?
- [lightning strikes]
- Reverend Clement Hedges: A bullet!
- [lightning strikes]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: A bull...
- [lightning strikes]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Oh!
- [closes the window]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: What kind of bullet?
- Reverend Clement Hedges: A bullet... of pure gold.
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Gold?
- Reverend Clement Hedges: Yes... 24 "carrot"!
- [chuckles nervously]
- [Quartermaine's hairpiece has been sucked up in the Bunvacc]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: I want...
- [lowers voice]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: ... toupée, please.
- Wallace: Oh, grand. We take cheques or cash.
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Toupée, you idiot! My hair is in your machine.
- Wallace: Oh, no, it's only rabbits in there. The hare, I think you'll find, is a much larger mammal.
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: How on earth would those tiny-minded buffoons ever catch such a big rabbit?
- Lady Tottington: Mr. Wallace?
- Wallace: Um... with a big trap!
- [Gromit slaps his face]
- Mr. Crock: By Jove, he... he's got it!
- [after everyone thinks that the wererabbit is dead and everyone is celebrating]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: [whispering] I don't want to alarm anyone, but the beast isn't actually dead yet.
- PC McIntosh: [shouting through his loudspeaker] *The beast isn't actually dead yet?*
- [everything stops]
- PC McIntosh: [into loudspeaker] Oops.
- Lady Tottington: But Victor, didn't we agree, no more thoughtless killing?
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Quite right, my dear, so I thought this one out very carefully.
- [Aims his gun at a rabbit]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: It's off to bunny heaven for you, big ears!
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: [to Lady Tottington] I'm sorry my dear but I refuse to suffer any more humiliation at the hands of these blundering nittwits. I therefore bid you good day.
- [Leaves, wearing a rabbit for a toupee]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: I know your little secret, Pesto. I know exactly what's going on.
- Wallace: Your Lordship...
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Oh, yes. You think you can pilfer my filly, don't you? You think you can con an innocent woman out of her fortune?
- Wallace: Who, me?
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Well, I got here first! I've spent a long time reeling in that fluffy-headed bunny-lover, and I'm not about to let some puddle-headed peasant poach her from me. Comprenez?
- Lady Tottington: You see, Victor, there is hope for the vegetables yet.
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Not the ones I'm looking at.
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Spare me the sermon, vicar! Just tell me how I can kill him!... I mean, it.
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: No nonsense with Victor Quartermaine. What you see is what you get.
- [his toupee is sucked into a rabbit hole and Lady Tottington screams]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Vicar! Vicar! Oh, where the devil is he?
- Reverend Clement Hedges: Do you want to confess?
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: I want to talk to you about... The beast.
- [lightning strikes]
- Reverend Clement Hedges: Everything you need to know is inside this book.
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Nun Wrestling?
- Reverend Clement Hedges: No I meant this book.
- [lays a book on the table]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: No one beats Victor Quartermain!
- Lady Campanula Tottington: Is that so?
- [Hits Victor over the head with her giant carrot]
- Lady Campanula Tottington: Consider yourself dumped.
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: [preparing to engage Wallace in fisticuffs] And don't think that acting like a big girl's blouse will get you out of it. There's no mercy with Victor Quartermaine.
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: [after Gromit intercepts the gold carrot-bullet meant for the Were-Rabbit] Aarrghh! Potty poo!
- [Victor rams a pitchfork into Lady Tottington's hair]
- Lord Victor Quartermaine: Hmm. I rather like your hair pinned back.