Renée Zellweger: Bridget Jones

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Bridget Jones

Dad: Ciggy?
Bridget Jones: No. No thanks. I've given up again.
Dad: Shame. I find them very useful. I take great comfort in the fact that they might kill me before things actually get worse.

[last lines]
Bridget Jones: I truly believe that happiness is possible... even when you're thirty-three and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.

Bridget Jones: Friends - they spend years trying to find you a boyfriend, but the moment you get one, they instantly tell you to dump him!

Mark Darcy: Bridget, will you stop? Stop staring at me while I'm asleep. Now, find something to do.
Bridget Jones: Sorry.
[Bridget turns away, only to turn back around again to look at Mark]

Bridget Jones: Well, uh... I just wanted to tell Mr. Darcy that I heard what magnificent work he actually did, releasing me from prison. Tiny... tiny misunderstanding to do with an enormous stash of cocaine. And I also wanted to say, since having found out that his girlfriend is actually a lesbian, that I love him. Always have. Always will. And that I'm, you know, available for dates if he should feel so inclined.

Mark Darcy: As a matter of fact, I have a question to ask you.
Bridget Jones: Okay. As long as it's not, "Will you marry me?"
[chuckles. Mark looks devastated]
Bridget Jones: Oh, God... It *is* "Will you marry me?"
Mark Darcy: Well, I'm not going to say it now.
Bridget Jones: No, no, no! Just wait!
[runs back to the door]
Mark Darcy: The moment's gone, Bridget.
Bridget Jones: We've just come out into the corridor and you say, "I've got a question to ask you" and then I don't say *anything*!
[pause]
Bridget Jones: and you say...
Mark Darcy: [pause] Bridget Jones, will you marry me?

Mark Darcy: [answers the phone] Hello?
Bridget Jones: It's me. Just wondered how you are.
Mark Darcy: I'm fine thanks. Everything alright with you?
Bridget Jones: Fine, though, er, I've just had a rather graphic shag flashback. You do have a genuinely gorgeous bottom.
Mark Darcy: Right, well, thank you. I'm actually with the Mexican Ambassador just at the moment and the Head of Amnesty International and the Under Secretary for Trade and Industry and you're on speakerphone.
Bridget Jones: Oh, right.

Rebecca: It was me who recommended this resort. I've been coming here since I was 11.
Bridget Jones: [says to herself] Wow. Three whole years!

Mark Darcy: [Bridget gets out of bed covered in a sheet and begins to fumble around] What on Earth are you doing?
Bridget Jones: Getting dressed.
Mark Darcy: Why're you dancing around in that tent business?
Bridget Jones: Because I don't want you to see any of my wobbly bits.
Mark Darcy: Well now that's a bit pointless, isn't it? As I happen to have a very high regard for your wobbly bits. In all circumstances.
Bridget Jones: [Bridget's head emerges from the sheet] Really?
Mark Darcy: Absolutely. I think it's high time we had another look.
[Bridget drops the sheet on the floor]

Bridget Jones: I read that you should never go out with someone if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
Mark Darcy: And can you think of three?
Bridget Jones: Yes.
Mark Darcy: Which are?
Bridget Jones: First off, I embarrass you. I can't ski, I can't ride, I can't speak Latin , my legs only come up to here and yes I will always be just a little bit fat. And you, you fold your underpants before you go to bed!
Mark Darcy: No, hang on! That-that can't be a reason.
Bridget Jones: No, it's not a reason! But you're not perfect either! You look down your nose at absolutely everyone and you're incapable of doing anything spontaneous or potentially affectionate.
[pause]
Bridget Jones: It feels like you're waiting to find someone in the VIP room who's- who's so fantastic, just the way she is, that you don't need to fix her.
Mark Darcy: Bridget, this is mad.
Bridget Jones: And perhaps you thought you found her.
[long pause]
Bridget Jones: Do you *want* to marry me?
[awkward silence]
Mark Darcy: Look- I...
Bridget Jones: You see, you can never muster the strength, to fight for me.
[long silence. Mark opens his mouth and closes it again. Bridget walks out]

Bridget Jones: You think you've found the right man, but there's so much wrong with him, and then he finds there's so much wrong with you, and then it all just falls apart.

Bridget Jones: [Bridget is on the phone talking to Mark's answering machine while he waits outside her flat] You're outside! Look err, I'll ring you later. Unless you've come to chuck me once and for all, in which case... Bye and thank you and sorry.
[Mark buzzes up again from outside]
Bridget Jones: Oh God please don't chuck me, don't chuck me. If you have chucked me, please change your mind, I'll behave much better in future.
[pause]
Bridget Jones: On the other hand if you haven't chucked me please behave better next time we go out. Stuck up snob.

Mark Darcy: Can I ask you a question Bridget?
Bridget Jones: Of course, any question... as long as it's not, 'Will You Marry Me'.
[pause after looking at Mark's face]
Bridget Jones: Omg, it is isn't it? It's will you Marry me? Ok, no! Wait, pretend that we just came out...
[walks back to the door, opens and closes it]
Bridget Jones: and you asked me if you could ask me a question and I said yes and NOTHING more. Ok, go.
Mark Darcy: Bridget Jones, will you marry me?

Shazzer: [Whisper to Bridget] Jellyfisher alert. Jellyfisher alert.
[turns away]
Bridget Jones: Janey Osbourne. Talking to her is like swimming in a sea and being stung repeatedly by an enormous jellyfish.

Bridget Jones: Daniel Cleaver is a deceitful, sexist, disgusting specimen of humanity that I wouldn't share a lift with, let alone a job.
Daniel Cleaver: [swings around on his chair, coming into Bridget's view] Oh, come on Jones there must have been something you liked about me.
Bridget Jones: You have a nice car. And - quite nice manners, outside the bedroom. But that's about it. And by the way, I know exactly where Germany is. The question is, do you know the location of your arsehole?
[walks out]
Daniel Cleaver: [to other colleagues] As a matter of fact I do know the exact location of my arsehole. And hers, for that matter.