Zooey Deschanel credited as playing...
Kate Collins
- Kate Collins: [reading a letter from Ryan out loud] Did you really leave me again? After all the seasons I spent waiting, watching out the window, listening at the door, waiting for the news of your return? for the news that you realized that someone important was waiting for you. A whole lifetime I've been waiting. I can't believe you're not coming back. I can't believe I'm supposed to stop waiting. I can't believe you left me again...
- [ends letter]
- Kate Collins: Grandpa didn't leave because of you, it was because of you he kept coming back. I hope you all realize that.
- Kate Collins: Hey, hey, hey! You guys! Could one of you *please* tell me one nice thing I can say about your dead father
- Lucy Collins: [after a long pause] He often called me Andrea for no reason.
- Daniel Collins: I was Barry.
- Daniel Collins: Hey, did we have a blackout last night?
- Kate Collins: That's what I heard.
- Skip Collins: Yeah, we sure did. I couldn't even find my room.
- [Lucy smacks him with a newspaper]
- Skip Collins: What?
- Lucy Collins: You found my room all right.
- Skip Collins: It was dark.
- Lucy Collins: So you hid in my closet? With your *kids*?
- Skip Collins: [shouts] We were lost!
- Skip Collins: Pop loved poetry.
- Kate Collins: He did.
- Skip Collins: Yeah. All the ones about Nantucket.
- Skip Collins: I think his favorite was about a little handicapped girl. There once was a girl who was crippled, by the weight of her overgrown nipple.
- Kate Collins: Uncle Skip and the twins were a little heavy with hormones, but they were at those ages...
- Alice Collins: I'm sorry, I live in the real world. I work hard at raising a decent family. You don't see me prancing around in my pajamas all day, starting up pillow fights with my topless girlfriend...
- Kate Collins: ...What are we talking about?
- [first lines]
- Kate Collins: [practicing out loud] Hey, you don't know me... I don't know you...
- Kate Collins: [narration] Twice in my life I've had to deliver bad news to someone I'd never met. The first time involved a cat that ran out in the middle of my driver's test. This time was a bit trickier.
- Kate Collins: [narrating about his dad] You may remember him as the Spiffy peanut butter kid. My dad's the one with a spoon in his mouth.
- Commercial Dad: What is it son?
- Young Daniel: Something is stuck to my tongue.
- Kate Collins: [narrating] Must be *weird* to have your career *peak* at 8. Now, he works mostly in obscure foreign films.
- Kate Collins: [narrating] He always acted like he had a crush on me. And I always acted like I didn't notice.
- Delilah the Neighbor: [crying] Poor Barbara!
- Kate Collins: What do you mean?
- Delilah the Neighbor: I don't know what to say.
- Kate Collins: You're not Barbara?
- Delilah the Neighbor: Edmund was the best neighbor I ever had.