Anna Faris credited as playing...
Cindy
- Brenda: [having a nightmare] Lil' Kim- Lil' Kim got my sandwich. Look out- Russell Crowe's got a phone! R.Kelly, don't pee on me! MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS! Where are we?
- Cindy Campbell: I'm not sure, but I think were close. It's supposed to be near mile 62.
- Brenda: Is something wrong?
- Cindy Campbell: No, it's just... I met this guy, and I wonder if he's safe. Oh, you'd love him, Brenda.
- Brenda: What's his name? I might've already loved him.
- Cindy Campbell: Tom Ryan.
- Brenda: Yeah, did him. Big, fat Chinese guy?
- Cindy Campbell: No... No.
- Cindy Campbell: [relieved] But he is the kind of guy I'd like to share the rest of my life with.
- [From Trailer]
- Tom Ryan: [after hitting Cindy with a baseball] Oh, hey, I'm sorry!
- Cindy Campbell: Oh, it's okay. I've taken balls to the face before.
- [Unrated Version]
- Tom Ryan: I've never been a good parent. Just ask my son.
- Cindy Campbell: I did. What exactly is an "cock monger"?
- Tom Ryan: That's not important right now.
- Cindy Campbell: That last lightning bolt smelled like...
- Rachel: ...A giant turd...
- Tom Ryan: Yeah... the lightning...
- Cindy Campbell: Oh, Brenda, I know you'd love him.
- Brenda Meeks: What's his name, I may have already loved him.
- Cindy Campbell: Tom Ryan.
- Brenda Meeks: Yep, did him. Big Chinese dude, right?
- Cindy Campbell: Last night I saw a face.
- Tom Ryan: Did it have a nose?
- Cindy Campbell: Well... yeah.
- Tom Ryan: That does sound like a face.
- Cindy Campbell: [to Tom] I was married once...
- Cindy's Husband: [Flashback] Get out the way, bitch!
- Cindy Campbell: Don't call me no bitch! You ain't shit!
- Cindy's Husband: Shut yo ass up, snow ho!
- [Cindy throws glass bottle]
- Cindy Campbell: [flashback ends] Well, actually, married twice.
- Saw Villain: Let the game begin.
- Cindy Campbell: I... I don't get.
- Saw Villain: Okay... maybe this will help you "see."
- [a knife comes out from the wall]
- Cindy Campbell: You want me to cut something?
- Saw Villain: That should be obvious, yes.
- [she goes to cut her wrist]
- Saw Villain: No.
- [she reaches out to cut Brenda's shoulder]
- Saw Villain: No! The key is behind your eye, okay?
- Cindy Campbell: Hello?
- [Japanese Ghost Boy doesn't respond]
- Cindy Campbell: Herro?
- [Hello?]
- Cindy Campbell: Hibachi Benihana Teriyaki?
- [Do you live here?]
- Japanese Ghost Boy: Nagasaki Okinawa Hokkaido Yokohama.
- [Your Japanese is awful. It dishonors my ears]
- Cindy Campbell: Karate Judo Sumo Samurai?
- [Are you a ghost?]
- Japanese Ghost Boy: Nissan, Honda, Mitsubishi, Subaru
- [Yes. I was killed and my soul walks the earth!]
- Cindy Campbell: Harikari Tsunami. Kamikaze Banzai
- [How sad. My life is also tragic]
- Japanese Ghost Boy: Yamaha, Nikon, Casio, Aiwa
- [You mistake me for someone who gives a shit]
- Japanese Ghost Boy: Minolta, Hitachi, Seiko, Toshiba
- [I know the secret of defeating the aliens]
- Cindy Campbell: Buddha! Shiitake Kimono!
- [My God! Tell Me!]
- Japanese Ghost Boy: Tempura, Sushi, Sashimi!
- [the answer is within my father's heart! Follow the blood!]
- Cindy Campbell: Fujitsu!
- [Wait!]
- Tom Ryan: I'm not a very good father. Just ask my son.
- Cindy Campbell: I did. What exactly is a "taint-licker"?
- Tom Ryan: That's not important right now.
- Tom Ryan: I've never been a good parent. Just ask my son.
- Cindy Campbell: I did. What exactly is an "Ass Clown"?
- Tom Ryan: That's not important right now.
- Brenda Meeks: [after greeting Cindy] Cindy! Oh, it's been so long.
- Cindy Campbell: Brenda, I thought you were dead.
- Brenda Meeks: Oh, I thought you were dead, too!
- Tom Ryan: [a football just hit Cindy] Oh, my God! I'm so sorry!
- Cindy Campbell: [Raspy voice] It's okay. My throat cushioned the blow.
- Cindy Campbell: It looks like we have a lot in...
- Tom Ryan: ...common.
- Cindy Campbell: We're already finishing each other's...
- Tom Ryan: ...dinner!
- Cindy Campbell: ...sentences.
- [Cindy is talking about how Tom's work with the elderly inspired her]
- Cindy Campbell: And then what do you say to yourself?
- [Tom has a huge erection due to taking too much Viagra pills, then a cat jumps on his boner]
- Tom Logan: Jesus!
- Cindy Campbell: Yes, you can turn to religion.
- Brenda Meeks: Pussy.
- Cindy Campbell: Brenda!
- Brenda Meeks: What? 50 Cent got shot nine times and he's still walking around!