Jeroen Krabbé credited as playing...
Gaspar Voorsboch
- Gaspar Voorsboch: [pointing a Sword at Deuce] You die with the rest of them, Gigolo! Those Gigalos... robbed Me of My Manhood, I was never able to satisfy a Woman, and I shall see to it that they don't either!
- [Starts sword fighting with Deuce]
- Deuce Bigalow: You don't have to kill anybody, Gaspar, cause You can please a Woman! These Gigalos... don't know what they're talking about!
- Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [Watching from the TV outside the Building] Is He talking about us?
- Deuce Bigalow: Do You really think that all a Woman wants; is for someone to give Her a mud pretzel, Turkish snow cone, or an Irish facial?
- Chadsworth Buckingham, III: Yes they do, liar!
- [All the Women nod in disagreement]
- Deuce Bigalow: All a Woman really wants; is someone who cares about Her, asks Her about or day, or how She's feeling... or or at least pretends to.
- Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [All the Women agree with Deuce] What?
- Gaspar Voorsboch: ...or when She's sad...
- [Gaspar lunges his sword at Deuce, but misses]
- Gaspar Voorsboch: ... cry with Her! Face it, these Gigalos are just ripping Women off!
- Chadsworth Buckingham, III: Hey, I'll let You know that I've had absolutely no complaints from any of those freaks!
- Lily: [Slaps His Face] I faked it!
- Deuce Bigalow: Women don't care if You drive a fancy car, wear a Rolex watch, or have a gigantic schlong like... Heinz Hummer.
- Mahmoud: This Guy knows his shit!
- Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [All the Gigalos pull out objects that make it look like they have bulges] What are You all doing?... anybody else? *Lil' Kim pulls out a Tootsie roll*
- Deuce Bigalow: Let a Woman You know You really care about Her, and maybe She'll give You an Irish facial.
- Gaspar Voorsboch: [Knocks the sword out of Deuces hand, pulls out the remote detonator] We die together, Deuce!
- Deuce Bigalow: Please sir, You don't have to do this!
- Gaspar Voorsboch: They ruined My Life!
- Deuce Bigalow: Just give Me the detonator...
- Gaspar Voorsboch: No, My penis exploded!
- Deuce Bigalow: O.k... that's a tough one, I'll give You that, but having a penis... is overrated, trust Me.
- Gaspar Voorsboch: We will die together, Douche!
- Deuce Bigalow: Please, you don't have to do this.
- Gaspar Voorsboch: Those Manwhores ruined my life!
- Deuce Bigalow: Just give me the detonater.
- Gaspar Voorsboch: No, my Penis exploded!
- Deuce Bigalow: O.k., that's a tough one, I'll give you that, but... having a Penis, is way over rated, trust me.
- Deuce Bigalow: [on the way to the Man-Whore awards, and Eva is riding behind them] Hey look, there's Eva!
- Gaspar Voorsboch: Oh.
- [starts speeding up]
- Deuce Bigalow: Hey what are you doing, she's right behind us.
- Eva: Deuce!
- [Deuce peaks his head out the window, and looks back]
- Eva: he's the killer!
- Deuce Bigalow: Huh, what?
- Eva: You're with the killer!
- Deuce Bigalow: Uh.. I'm with the dealer?
- Eva: He's the Man-Whore killer!
- Deuce Bigalow: Um..Eighteen Wheeler?
- Eva: [comes right up close to the Passengers Window] My uncle is the killer!
- Deuce Bigalow: Oh, I'm with the...
- [Turns his attention to Gaspar who points a gun at him]
- Deuce Bigalow: ...you're the Killer?
- Gaspar Voorsboch: She said: You are with the killer, you stupido!
- Deuce Bigalow: Ohhh.
- [looks near the back seat, and notices a barely opened hand bag with the Leopard-coat, and a blond wig showing]
- Deuce Bigalow: ...but... why, what did Man-Whores ever do to YOU?
- Gaspar Voorsboch: What did they do to me? All my life, I wanted to be one thing, a Gigolo, yes, me, Gaspar Voorsboch! I'll never forget that day, it was my first Semester at Man-Whore University.