Scott Lunsford credited as playing...
Caleb Peterson
- Caleb Peterson: What if he tries to grab me?
- Kyle: We're not pirates. We just dress like them... and chase bootie. He'll be just as nervous as you, so try not to punch him if he makes a move on you or anything...
- Caleb Peterson: You know, I don't think I'd punch him. I think I'd probably just start crying or something.
- [Tiffani stands in the doorway]
- Tiffani: I hear you have phone trouble, Miss Thing.
- Kyle: That's Mister Miss Thing to you.
- Caleb Peterson: Tiffani?
- Tiffani: You little hose huffer!
- Frank Peterson: Why don't you come join us?
- Tiffani: Gomez, Morticia, and little Wednesday.
- Caleb Peterson: I think you turned me gay.
- Tiffani: I did not "turn you gay!" How could you say that?
- Caleb Peterson: I mean, don't take it personally.
- Tiffani: I am a person! How else am I supposed to take it?
- Kyle: You stole my boyfriend!
- Caleb Peterson: He's not your boyfriend.
- Kyle: Oh, so now you're gay?
- Caleb Peterson: This was your idea.
- Kyle: You knew how I felt about him!
- Caleb Peterson: We're not doing anything.
- Kyle: You're going on a date!
- Caleb Peterson: That was HIS idea!
- Kyle: I've been stalking him for years; you decided to be gay for one night.
- Caleb Peterson: I'm not gay! Why don't you just tell him you like him?
- Kyle: That would be as futile as drug testing at the Gay Games.
- Marc: [entering the bathroom] We need to talk.
- Caleb Peterson: [in mid-pee] D-dude!
- Marc: I wasn't being honest. Now, I got to talk about it now or...
- Caleb Peterson: I'm taking a leak.
- Marc: Hmm, please, I've seen it.
- Marc: [addressing the dick] How ya doin'?
- Caleb Peterson: This isn't a kegger, bro. This is, like, serious. Who'd you invite?
- Kyle: Like they said to Anne Frank, why don't you answer the door and find out?
- Kyle: Being gay is more than... listening to good music and eating low-fat foods. There are certain things you have to do to convince the general public.
- Caleb Peterson: Oh. We could stage a bashing.
- Caleb Peterson: I waited twenty-four days to have sex with you.
- Tiffani: Well, I didn't want to seem like a slut!
- [Caleb and Marc return to Marc's darkened, vacated apartment]
- Caleb Peterson: [calling out] Gwen!
- Marc: Oh, trust me. If she were here, she'd be all up in our pubes.