Adi Schnall: Randa

Pretty Persuasion

Randa

Brittany Wells: I like this music. Can you buy the soundtrack to pornos?
Kimberly Joyce: Tiffany Minx, Stephanie Swift... You know, Brittany, a lot of these porn stars have names that sound like ours. So if we wanted to, when we grow up, we could be porn stars. You couldn't, Randa. I'm sorry.
Randa: That is quite all right.

Randa: [watching a porno] Why is that woman - why is she doing those things with another woman? Why must they show this?
Kimberly Joyce: Because men like to watch it.
Randa: But it is a sin!
Kimberly Joyce: [laughs] Randa! Randa, you're gonna find out that a lot of things men like are a sin.

[from trailer]
Randa: Then he said, "Now I'm going to touch you on your boobs".
Mr. Anderson: I would never say "boobs", I'm an English teacher! Breasts... I would say breasts.

Kimberly Joyce: Okay, it is time to open up my Big Bag of Fun. These are assorted items that I've stolen from Dad for our consumption this evening. Item number one, Dad's wine-flavored cigars.
Brittany Wells: Ech, don't those things make you cough?
Kimberly Joyce: No, they're cigars, you don't have to swallow - I mean, inhale.
[offers one to Randa]
Randa: No thanks.
Kimberly Joyce: Are you sure, Randa? To become succesful actresses, you have to learn how to smoke them. It's trendy.
Brittany Wells: That's true.
Randa: No thank you, I do not smoke.
Kimberly Joyce: Okay... Uh, item number two, one of my dad's many *many* pornos - Titty Lickers 2: The Search for Golden Curlies.
Brittany Wells: Ew! Why would we wanna watch a porno?
Kimberly Joyce: 'Cause they're funny. Besides, we have to teach Randa about sex and this is the best way to learn. And item number three - and I could get into real real trouble if I got caught with these - Dad's Twinkies.
Brittany Wells: Eh - too fattening.
Kimberly Joyce: Would you *please* stop criticizing everything in my Big Bag of Fun? I spent a lot of time putting this together!

Kimberly Joyce: Randa, what's the greatest thing about this country?
Randa: Sylvester Stallone?
Kimberly Joyce: No. It's that anybody can sue anybody at anytime over anything.
Randa: You wanna sue Mr. Anderson?
Kimberly Joyce: I suppose that it might jump-start me and Brittany's acting careers.

Brittany Wells: Would you ever let a guy do that to you, Kimberly?
Kimberly Joyce: I have.
Brittany Wells: Oh, my God, who?
Kimberly Joyce: Warren.
Brittany Wells: Warren Prescott?
Kimberly Joyce: Yeah, a little while ago, when we were dating he said:
[flashback]
Warren Prescott: Kimberly, we've been going out for a long time, and I really love you, and I think it'd be cool if you'd let me pack your fudge chute.
Kimberly Joyce: At first I thought he was talking about making sundaes, but then he explained it to me and I was kind of into it.
Brittany Wells: Did it hurt?
Kimberly Joyce: Yeah, a little bit. But it didn't hurt as much with Warren as it would have with other boys, if you catch my drift.
Randa Azzouni: What is your drift?
Kimberly Joyce: Never mind. But a few days later, he broke up with me. He said he didn't want to date a girl who would let a guy do that to her. I mean, does that make any sense?

Kimberly Joyce: How does an Arab get his wife pregnant?
Randa Azzouni: I do not know.
Kimberly Joyce: She gets naked and lies down on the bed, he jerks off on the wall, and they let the flies do the rest.
[Randa chuckles]
Kimberly Joyce: No. Don't laugh. It's insulting to your people.

Randa: [while watching pornography in which a woman is moaning loudly] How... how is it, please, that two men... at one time... how can this be?
Kimberly Joyce: One of them is doing her up the butt.
Randa: Up the... such a thing is not possible... it is too small, the aperture.

Kimberly Joyce: Symbiotic, that's what our relationship is going to be like, Randa. Just like we learned in biology - the whale and the little fish that sticks on it.
[admiring looks from passersby]
Kimberly Joyce: See, if you hang with me, you'll get a lot of attention from boys that you otherwise wouldn't. And meanwhile, when I'm standing next to you, I'll look more attractive by comparison. Isn't that great?
Randa: Very nice.