Leo Gregory credited as playing...
Bovver
- Bovver: [Pete and Matt walk into the pub] Jesus, you two attatched at the fucking hip or what?
- Pete Dunham: Leave it out Bov, it's getting old.
- Bovver: Nah, I'm starting to wonder about you two. I mean if I didn't know any better I'd say you was a couple of gay boys.
- Pete Dunham: Bov, we've known each other a long time yeah? I trust you more than any other bloke I know, but you're getting dangerously close to crossing the line with me. If you got a problem then it's your fucking problem, not mine. But if you wanna discuss it further, we can go outside.
- Pete Dunham: [after Pete introduces Matt to his friends at the Abbey] Where's Bovver?
- Swill: He's been in the toilet for about fifteen minutes, like dodgy Ruby or something down at Bengal last night.
- Dave: [Dave points at Matt] Oh, look, look, he looks lost. No, "Ruby Murray" means curry. We call it Cockney rhyming slang...
- Matt Buckner: Slang. Yeah, like, uh, "bees and honey" for money.
- Dave: That's it, yeah.
- Swill: Like "struggle and grunt" for cunt!
- Dave: Oh, you went dark. Why'd you go...
- Swill: I'm not a cunt.
- Bovver: [Bovver walks up to the table] Like "septic tank" for Yank.
- Pete Dunham: [the guys greet him; Pete hugs him and indicates Matt] This is Matt, Shannon's brother.
- Matt Buckner: Hey.
- [Matt extends his hand; Bovver ignores it and the guys all laugh]
- Swill: That's the proper, right? He don't give a fuck, does he? He don't give a fuck.
- Pete Dunham: Mate, he's practically family.
- [Bovver shrugs and the guys laugh again]
- Swill: Oh, mate, it's fucking painful!
- Pete Dunham: Bov's a miserable cunt, but we love him dearly, don't we, boys?
- Dave: Eh, sometimes.
- [he smiles]
- Swill: Like a fucking brother!
- Bovver: [after Matt has been introduced to the guys and sent to buy a round] What's with all the fuckin' babysitting? You know we had a meet set up for today.
- Pete Dunham: It's all right, Bov. He'll stay out the way. It's not like we didn't have it last night.
- Bovver: What? That's not the bloody point, is it? We'll look like right mugs if we set something up and our fearless leader don't show 'cause he's playin' pin the tail on a fuckin' Yank.
- Ned: No, he's right, man. He's got a point.
- Pete Dunham: You let me worry 'bout that, all right, boys?
- [Matt returns with the beers]
- Pete Dunham: As for the Yank, he's too modest to tell you, but back in the States, he's an internationally-ranked double-black belt in karate.
- Dave: Is he fuck? Look at the size of him.
- Pete Dunham: No, no, no, no. Bloody "Karate Kid" film? Based on his exploits.
- Dave: Really?
- Pete Dunham: Yeah.
- Dave: Really?
- Matt Buckner: Yeah, it's true.
- Pete Dunham: Fuckin' straight.
- Swill: Bollocks.
- [Matt looks at Swill nervously]
- Swill: Bollocks.
- Matt Buckner: Come on, why not?
- Swill: You're lyin' already. You been here fuckin' five minutes and you're lyin'!
- [everybody laughs]