Andrew Robinson credited as playing...
Garak
- Doctor Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle.
- Elim Garak: But I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.
- Doctor Bashir: Garak, this isn't funny.
- Elim Garak: I'm serious, Doctor. Thanks to your ministrations, I am almost completely healed. But the damage I did to them will last a lifetime.
- Quark: I want you to try something for me. Take a sip of this.
- Elim Garak: What is it?
- Quark: A human drink. It's called root beer.
- Elim Garak: [unwilling] Uh, I don't know...
- Quark: Come on, aren't you just a little bit curious?
- [Garak sighs, takes a sip and gags]
- Quark: What do you think?
- Elim Garak: It's *vile*!
- Quark: I know. It's so bubbly, and cloying, and *happy*.
- Elim Garak: Just like the Federation.
- Quark: But you know what's really frightening? If you drink enough of it, you begin to *like* it.
- Elim Garak: It's insidious!
- Quark: *Just* like the Federation.
- Gul Dukat: [Garak is hurrying down a corridor to help defend the members of the Detapa Council when he runs into an armed Dukat and a Starfleet security detachment] That's close enough, Garak.
- Elim Garak: I just wanted to make sure the council members were safe.
- Gul Dukat: Hoping, no doubt, that your concern would curry political favour?
- Elim Garak: Oh, and I take it your concern for the council members is motivated strictly by patriotism?
- Gul Dukat: The council members are well aware of my patriotism. And the sacrifices I was willing to make in order to save them. Now, why don't you go back to your tailor shop and sew something?
- Elim Garak: Because if the Klingons do invade the station, you may just need my help.
- [Garak draws a weapon of his own and stands next to Dukat]
- Elim Garak: Who would have thought the two of us would be fighting side by side?
- Gul Dukat: Just be sure when you fire that thing you're aiming it at a Klingon.
- Elim Garak: I'll try to keep that in mind.
- [a group of Klingons invade the tailor's shop]
- Elim Garak: Well, let me guess. You're either lost, or desperately searching for a good tailor.
- Drex: Guess again!
- [knocks Garak down]
- Odo: I didn't know you spoke Klingon.
- Elim Garak: Oh, you'd be surprised at the things you can learn when you're doing alterations.
- Elim Garak: How thoughtless of me not to consider the effects the destruction of my home world would have on your business; These must be trying times for you, be brave.
- Elim Garak: What I can't understand is that inexplicable hostility toward me. Maligning Constable Odo was one thing; after all he's a changeling. The Klingons don't know him as well as we do. But relations between the Klingon and Cardassian Empires have never been anything but amicable.
- Doctor Bashir: With the exception of the Betreka Nebula incident.
- Elim Garak: A minor skirmish.
- Doctor Bashir: It lasted eighteen years!
- Elim Garak: It was ages ago. Perhaps... they've decided they just didn't like me.
- Doctor Bashir: [ironic] Not like you? Impossible.
- Elim Garak: [after Drex has insulted Odo in Klingon] Actually, I'm not sure Constable Odo *has* a mother.