Will Ferrell credited as playing...
Franz Liebkind
- Leo Bloom: Elizabeth?
- Franz Liebkind: Ja. Not many people know this, but the fuhrer was descended from a long line of English queens.
- Max Bialystock: [after a long pause] Is that right?
- Franz Liebkind: Ze penalty for braking ze Siegfried Oath is DESS!
- Max Bialystock: Dess? Is that anything like death?
- Franz Liebkind: YETH!
- Franz Liebkind: You know, not many people know zis, but der F¸hrer was a terrific dancer.
- Max Bialystock: Really? Gee, we didn't know that, did we, Leo?
- Leo Bloom: No, we sure didn't.
- Franz Liebkind: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU WERE TAKEN IN BY THE BBC! Filthy British lies! But did they ever say a bad word about Winston Churchill? CHURCHILL!
- [gags]
- Franz Liebkind: With his cigars, and his brandy, and his ROTTEN paintings! ROTTEN! Hitler, there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon! Two coats!
- Franz Liebkind: I was never a member of the Nazi Party! I only followed orders. I had nothing to do with the war! I didn't even know there was a war on. We lived in the back, right across from Switzerland. All we heard was yodelling... yoodle le he hoo
- Franz Liebkind: [while waving a gun around] You made a fool of Hitler!
- Carmen Ghia, Roger De Bris: [Carmen and Roger peer over the couch where they are hiding] He didn't need our help.
- Franz Liebkind: [at end of credits] Don't forget to buy "Mein Kampf" in paper back. Avaliable near you... at Borders Books... or Barnes and Noble... und Amazon.com
- Franz Liebkind: You sniveling cowards! Cringing under a desk. Clinging on for life like baby butterflies. Franz Liebkind will show you how to die like a man!
- Franz Liebkind: [points gun to his own head and attempts to kill himself but is unsuccessful] Yada. Mmm yada! Boy, when things go wrong!
- [he throws the gun onto the couch and a bullet shoots out]
- Franz Liebkind: [making Max and Leo take the Siegfried Oath] All right. First you will raise your right forefingers, und repeat after me.
- [they do]
- Franz Liebkind: I solemnly svear...
- Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock: [holding up their forefingers] I solemnly svear...
- Franz Liebkind: To obey ze Zacred Siegfried Oas...
- Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock: To obey ze Zacred Siegfried Oas...
- Franz Liebkind: Und!
- Max Bialystock: [switching to his Middle Finger] Und!
- Leo Bloom: [switching to his Middle Finger] Und!
- Franz Liebkind: [wagging his finger] Never, Never, Never!
- Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock: [flipping Franz off] Never, Never, Never
- Franz Liebkind: Dishoner ze spirit und ze memory of Adolph Elizabeth Hitler
- Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock: Dishonor the spirit und ze... Elizabeth?
- Franz Liebkind: Jah. Dat vas his middle name. Not many people know zis, but der F¸hrer vas descended from a long line of English qveens.
- [long pause]
- Max Bialystock: Is that right?
- Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock: [shrugging] Adolph ELIZABETH Hitler.
- [With one leg already broken Franz Liebkind falls down the stairs]
- Officer O'Rourke: [Calling down the stairs] What happened?
- Franz Liebkind: I broke... the other leg!
- Franz Liebkind: That is not how you sing Haben Sie geh^rt das Deutsche band! This is how you sing Haben Sie geh^rt das Deutsche band!
- Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock, Carmen Ghia, Roger De Bris: Break a leg!
- [CRASH!]
- Max Bialystock: Franz, what happened?
- Franz Liebkind: I broke my leg!
- Franz Liebkind: [at end of credits] Don"t forget to buy "Mein Kampf" in paper back. At Borders Books or Barnes and Knoble, or Amazon.com