Rhona Mitra credited as playing...
Tara Wilson
- Alan Shore: [to Tara] Hello, I'm a complete stranger and I'm here to pick you up.
- [notices Joe]
- Alan Shore: Oh, I see, there's two of us. I'll be evens, you be odds.
- Joe: You got a problem?
- Alan Shore: No, actually. I just saw this fair maiden here talking to a tree trunk, and since I'm an arborist I thought I could help translate.
- Joe: Here's a health tip. Walk away.
- Alan Shore: Why would I do that?
- Tara Wilson: All right, guys.
- Alan Shore: Don't be deceived by my cushy appearance.
- Tara Wilson: Excuse me. I actually am with him.
- Joe: I don't care. Walk away, or I lay you out.
- Alan Shore: I don't mean to be a stickler, but isn't the object to lay her out?
- [Joe punches Alan]
- Tara Wilson: Hey!
- Joe: Oh, gee, I'm sorry, I was reaching for my wallet...
- Alan Shore: I see. Allow me to reach for mine.
- [walks away to the other end of the bar]
- Tara Wilson: Are you all right?
- Alan Shore: Fine.
- [to Mike and friends]
- Alan Shore: Hello, big people. Sorry to intrude, but you seem rather strapping. Here's three hundred dollars. Would you be so kind as to go hit that man down there?
- Mike: [laughs incredulously] Really?
- Tara Wilson: Alan!
- Alan Shore: There's an extra hundred if he goes down.
- Mike: You're on.
- Alan Shore: Make it a good one.
- Tara Wilson: Oh, for God's sakes.
- Alan Shore: [Mike hits Joe; fistfight ensues. Alan gives money to Mike's friend] Here's a hundred; go help your friend.
- Alan Shore: [watches the fighting] Gee, seems Joe has buddies.
- [passing out money to Mike's friends]
- Alan Shore: One for you, one for you. I've got plenty of them. Hit him hard, now. For you, and for you...
- [Denny, Tara, and Lori in Denny's office as Denny loads a rifle, preparing to save Alan from a gunman holding him hostage just outside of Denny's office door]
- Denny Crane: It's okay; I'm an ex-Marine. I was a trained sniper. Or was I a pilot? I can't remember. Anyway, I'm more of a skeet shooter now, so when I say 'pull,' you're going to open that door.
- Tara Wilson: You're insane!
- Denny Crane: Pull!
- [Tara opens the door; Denny fires]
- Alan Shore: [listening to the news on TV at the office] That's Bernie!
- Tara Wilson: Who?
- Alan Shore: The little skillet-welding client from last week, he's whacked another one. He promised me he wouldn't.
- [knocks on Bernard Ferrion's front door repeatedly]
- Bernard Ferrion: [open's door] Alan.
- Alan Shore: [walks inside] What have you done now?
- Bernard Ferrion: There's a awful lot of excitement.
- Alan Shore: I saw, both live and on the news. You've been flaying again with your frying pan, haven't you, Bernard?
- Bernard Ferrion: I never meant for it to happen.
- Alan Shore: I am very disappointed. I gave you a terrific speech last week, Bernie, appealing to the kind inner you. It was wonderful - poignant, even, and how you have completely mooted it by committing murder again.
- Bernard Ferrion: I never meant to kill her!
- Alan Shore: Well, what? You just went over there to make an omelet and things got out of hand?