Kristen Bell credited as playing...
- Veronica: Look at you, all helpful.
- Logan: Hey, your peskiness being unleashed on Conner brings me joy. Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind!
- Lamb: [reading $100 bill] Veronica Mars is... smarter than me...
- Veronica: Oh, you stop it!
- [Veronica is trying to change a flat tire]
- Troy: Flat?
- Veronica: Just as God made me.
- Keith: So how was your date?
- Veronica: Oh, you know. Lousy conversation, but the sex was fantastic!
- Keith: That's not funny.
- Veronica: I don't know. I'm pretty sure it was.
- Veronica: I know I'm late. Sorry honey.
- [gives Logan a peck on the cheek, whispers in his ear]
- Veronica: So I talked to this guy on the phone, let me handle it, he's a bit prickly.
- [they approach the desk]
- Desk Manager: May I help you?
- Veronica: You may. My fiancee and I are looking for a honeymoon suite.
- Desk Manager: Oh how wonderful. These are our more affordable packages. The rooms run $350 for courtyard and $450 for full. On the weekends of course it's a two night minimum.
- Veronica: Of course. Here's a little bit more what I had in mind.
- [Veronica brings out a big wedding planner book and starts to flip through it as she shows off a big diamond ring]
- Logan: [playing along] Wow, sugar puss, you've certainly been a busy little bee.
- [Veronica and Logan share a fake laugh]
- Logan: Oh, she's a keeper.
- Wallace: My mom thinks I'm staying at Norman's house.
- Veronica: Who's Norman?
- Wallace: Norman is my imaginary, straight-A, Eagle Scout, mama's boy friend.
- Veronica: He sounds boring for an imaginary friend.
- Wallace: Mom seems to like him.
- Meg: You believe me, right?
- Veronica: You are the last good person here at Neptune High. I believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.
- Veronica: [voiceover] Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything. Creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild.
- Veronica: [surprising the Tritons with a camera] Hi, everyone! Say "repressed homosexuality"!
- Logan: [standing in front of Veronica's car] Do you have any idea what your little joke cost me?
- Veronica: Well, I'm pretty sure you won't be getting your bong back.
- Logan: [smashes Veronica's headlights with a crowbar] Wrong answer. Would you care to guess again?
- Veronica: Clearly your sense of humor...
- Keith: How's about an early peek at one of your Christmas presents?
- Veronica: What about our strict "Christmas morning only" rule?
- Keith: This Christmas, we make our own rules. Follow me!
- Veronica: [following Keith to her bedroom] I'm so impressed you fit a pony into my room!
- Veronica: I just don't want you to get your hopes up.
- Logan: I'm not paying you to worry about my health, I'm paying you to follow leads.
- Veronica: I wasn't aware you were paying me.
- Logan: This isn't a favor. It's a job you know. We're not exchanging friendship bracelets.
- Veronica: I'll stop braiding.
- Veronica: If I ever die, do me a favor. Go on Oprah and tell the world that I loved kittens.
- Veronica: Am I naked? Because in my nightmares I'm usually naked.
- Veronica: [enter Keith] And...
- Keith: [happy] Who's your Daddy?
- Veronica: I hate it when you say that.
- Keith: This is important, you remember this, I used to be cool.
- Veronica: When?
- Keith: '77. Trans-Am, Blue Oyster Cult in the 8-track, foxy, stacked blond riding shotgun, racing for pink slips. Wait a minute, I'm thinking of a Springsteen song. Scratch everything. I was never cool.
- Veronica: I don't know which bothers me more, "foxy" or "stacked".
- Keith: Didn't he get busted for murder?
- Veronica: Assault.
- Keith: See? He's not even a very good murderer.
- Keith: I never want you to think that your mom is the villain in all of this.
- Veronica: Isn't she?
- Keith: No, it's not that simple...
- Veronica: Yeah it is. The hero is the one that stays... and the villain is the one that splits.
- Meg: All of a sudden everyone's running up to me, saying how they never believed I did those things...
- Veronica: I'm glad. Funny, no one's come running up to me.
- Meg: It's because people are afraid of you.
- Veronica: Then something's working...
