Lindsay Lohan credited as playing...
Lola Johnson
- Lola Johnson: What if you die some day?
- Garrison Keillor: I will die.
- Lola Johnson: Don't you want people to remember you?
- Garrison Keillor: I don't want them to be told to remember me.
- Yolanda Johnson: It's an old Carter family song, right?
- Lola Johnson: A what?
- Yolanda Johnson: Carter family, sweetheart. Just like us, only famous.
- Lola Johnson: This isn't really going to be your last show, is it?
- Garrison Keillor: Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.
- Rhonda Johnson: Thank you, Plato. Kierkegaard.
- Lola Johnson: Soliloquy for a Blue Guitar: Death is easy, Like jumping into the big, blue air, And waving hello to God. God is love, But he doesn't necessarily drop everything, To catch you, does he? So, when you hook the hose up to your tailpipe, Don't expect to wake up and get toast for breakfast. The toast is you.
- Yolanda Johnson: What are you writin'?
- Lola Johnson: A poem.
- Yolanda Johnson: Oh, a poem. What's it about?
- Lola Johnson: Suicide..
- Rhonda Johnson: Oh, my God.
- Yolanda Johnson: Oh. Okay. Well, you know what my philosophy is.
- Lola Johnson: Yes, I do, so don't tell me.
- Yolanda Johnson: I think that you gotta be grateful for everything that happens to you because that's what got you here, you know? And if you hadn't gone through all the things that you went through, why, you know, you wouldn't have wound up where you are now. So, I don't know. Disappointment doesn't get you anywhere.
- Garrison Keillor: We don't look back in radio. That's the beauty of it. Nobody gets old. Nobody dies. We just - keep on goin'.
- Lola Johnson: What if you died?
- Garrison Keillor: I will!
- Garrison Keillor: That's our show. Remember to keep your feet on the ground, your hopes up high, pray for rain, keep the humor dry. And eat those Powdermilk Biscuits. Thank you, everybody.
- Garrison Keillor, Rhonda Johnson, Yolanda Johnson, Lola Johnson, Dusty, Lefty, Jearlyn Steele: [singing] Come and sit by my side if you love me, Do not hasten to bid me adieu, But remember the Red River Valley, And the one who has loved you so true...
- Lola Johnson: Sign there.
- Yolanda Johnson: What is this?
- Lola Johnson: I have to get your assets working again.
- Yolanda Johnson: My what?
- Lola Johnson: Your assets.
- Yolanda Johnson: Oh. Oh!