Pippa Haywood credited as playing...
Joanna Clore
- Lab Guy: Name? I can't just put "Lanky woman who hasn't learned how to take proper precautions in her forty years on Earth"?
- Joanna Clore: Er...
- [Sees Harriet at other window]
- Joanna Clore: Harriet Schulenberg.
- [Runs off]
- Lab Guy: Don't go! I think I love you!
- Joanna Clore: [on answering machine] It's over, Alan. Don't contact me. You will never feel my super-vagina again.
- Dr. Alan Statham: I, I, I wish people would leave a name!
- Dr. Martin Dear: [Joanna doesn't want anyone knowing he's her son] I love you and I always have!
- Harriet Schulenburg: [Just entering] I'm sorry is this a bad time?
- Joanna Clore: No, Dr. Dear was just telling me something a patient said to him today. A psychiatric patient, obviously.
- Kim Alabaster: Erm, you do know that your goldfish is dead?
- Joanna Clore: Yes, I know it's dead, it's supposed to be dead, I bought it dead! That way I can look at it and say "You're dead and I'm not, you stupid fish!"
- Joanna Clore: And I suppose radiology is proper medicine then, is it?
- Dr. Alan Statham: I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer.
- [pause]
- Dr. Alan Statham: Yes, it bloody is!
- Joanna Clore: What kind of masked kidnapper are you?
- Dr. Alan Statham: Well, one who is loath to contravene local bye-laws, actually.
- Dr. Alan Statham: Welcome to the lunatic asylum!
- Dr. Caroline Todd: What, "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps"?
- Dr. Alan Statham: Well, I don't know about that, although the Trust is an Equal Opportunities Employer so some of the Secretarial Staff might be a bit...
- [twirls a finger by his head]
- Joanna Clore: [bored of him] Oh, God!
- [Drags Carol away]
- Dr. Guilaume Secretan: And I found my number crumpled up in her hand on the page of a novel. That's what L'Air du Temps means to me.
- Joanna Clore: If you fancy a **** just say so!
- Jake: [in the Occupational Therapy Suite] Okay, Joanna, now we're a bit more relaxed, I'd like to try something.
- Joanna Clore: Well, hurry up, I do have an office to run.
- Jake: Right, well, what I want you to do is imagine that all the recent unpleasantness is held in a little box deep inside.
- Joanna Clore: Ah, yes, nice little box.
- Jake: No, well, we have to deal with things. So, on the count of three, I want you to open the box and deal with what's inside. One... two...
- Joanna Clore: AHH! AHHH! AHHHH!
- Jake: No, well...
- Joanna Clore: AHH!
- Jake: Okay, close the box.
- Joanna Clore: AHHH!
- Jake: Close the box.
- Joanna Clore: AHHH!
- Jake: CLOSE THE BOX! No, you don't want that. Let's just try to relax...
- Joanna Clore: God, you've changed your tune.
- Dr. Alan Statham: Yes, I march to a different tune.
- [sings]
- Dr. Alan Statham: La la la la la la-la-laaa, la la la la...
- Joanna Clore: [on Mac's hair] Well, at least I don't look like a girl.
- Dr. Macartney: Ah, touche, touche...
- Joanna Clore: I know you can't be a complete idiot or they wouldn't let you work here.
- Dr. Alan Statham: ...I'm glad you're on my side.
- Joanna Clore: [bursts in on Statham beating a Green Dwarf to death with a stuffed Heron] What are you doing?
- Dr. Alan Statham: It's all right! He's not real!
- Joanna Clore: [dragging the bagged dwarf to the incinerator] Maybe you shouldn't kill dwarfs with Herons!
- Dr. Alan Statham: Maybe you shouldn't hide dwarfs under people's desks!
- Dr. Alan Statham: I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.
- Joanna Clore: I think I am too.
- Dr. Alan Statham: Everything's gone Dwarf!
- Joanna Clore: [Carol's first day] Did you say you were Asian? It would really help out my End of Year quotas. It's hard to tell in this light, might get away with it.
- Mum: [Tea] Here you are, sweetheart.
- Joanna Clore: Are you legal? I mean, am I going to be on some kind of register?
- Young Man: No, I'm legal. Just. It was my birthday, that's why I was at the Bar.