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Jessica Simpson, Dane Cook, and Dax Shepard in Employee of the Month (2006)

Dax Shepard: Vince

Employee of the Month

Dax Shepard credited as playing...

Vince

Photos6

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Quotes8

  • Vince: This is an '81 Honda! How dare you!
  • Jorge: [looking at the defaced picture of Vince] ... I love ah-nall, who's ah-nall?
  • Vince: It's ANAL, dumbass!
  • Jorge: You do?
  • [Zack calls Timeout to give the Super Club Softball Team an inspirational pep talk]
  • Zack: Grab a knee. C'mon.
  • [All the members of the Super Club Softball Team takes a knee]
  • Zack: We can win this. And we can win this the Super Club way. Ok? And until today, I didn't even know what that meant. In fact, I still don't. But I do know this; we are a team out here. I mean look at us. Glenn Ross.
  • [Zack points to Glenn Ross]
  • Zack: I thought you were going to be a stuffed shirt out here. But the way you took out that catcher, are you kidding me? You're the balls, man. You're the balls and the tank. You're that whole region.
  • [Zack points to the Catcher]
  • Zack: And you? I don't even know you on a personal level. But you sign up for my paychecks. That's a good thing.
  • Zack: Amy, you're wonderful. Don't change a thing.
  • Zack: Glenn Gary, you got us pink uniforms, yes. But you know what, that's what unites us. These uniforms unites us, because we are all pink on the inside. Right?
  • Vince: Yeah, pink like vaginas.
  • [awkward silence]
  • Zack: Good guess, Vince.
  • Vince: I realize that you don't care about your job, but I do.
  • Zack: And I want to thank you for caring about my job, really.
  • [while Vince and Jorje are in Zack's house, changing all the clocks, his grandmother comes into the room. Jorge takes out a knife]
  • Vince: What are you doing? There are no weapons in this mission. I will not do time for you. I will roll over on you.
  • Vince: Well, I guess I can get a little anal...
  • Zack: Actually, I hear he gets alot.
  • Vince: Is your name Semi because you're the size of a huge Mack truck or because you're semi-retarded?
  • Semi: I don't know.
  • [after Vince is revealed to have been giving stuff away, he runs off. Semi tackles him to the ground]
  • Vince: [writhes in pain] Now I know why they call you "Semi".

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